Page 45 of Fan Favorite

“Isn’t it?” Peter gulped down some of the Coke. The effervescence instantly insulted his reflux.

“Besides,” Jessa continued, “Bennett’s rugged. That’s, like, his whole thing. Think of it like an action movie. What if we got him an eye patch or something? That would be hot.”

“This isn’tDie Hard, Jessa. Pretty sure our target audience isn’t trying to fuck a guy in an eye patch.” Peter chugged the rest of the Coke and threw the bottle toward the recycling. Ithit the rim and bounced one, two, three times, before hitting the floor and rolling down the hallway. “You should leave this godforsaken town. Trust me, you’ll be happier.”

“I’m not unhappy,” Jessa said. “And, newsflash, the women of America can still get wet over a guy with some facial lacerations. Our target audience basically had their sexual awakening toGame of Thrones. And it’s the entire reason I watchJack Ryan. I have no idea what’s happening on that show. But when John Krasinski is all tormented and then an assassin pops out of the bushes and Jack’s polo shirt gets tight because he’s not just a guy with a PhD anymore, he’s a counterterrorist machine? Bitch, I’m here for it.”

“Who would’ve thought Jim Halpert could carry an action show.”

“It’s hot, trust me.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Peter said, getting up to retrieve the Coke bottle. “Where is she now?”

“Edie? Max and Bailey took her to the cafeteria for some tea.” Before Peter could react, Jessa added, “Don’t worry, Amy and Dan are with them. No one will escape.”

Peter tossed the bottle into the recycling. “Is she going to pull it together?”

“Of course she is.”

“I think that’s optimistic.”

“Nah, we’ll get her there.” Jessa paused. “You should talk to her, though. You guys have a thing.”

“We don’t have a thing.”

“She trusts you.”

“Well.” He paused. “She shouldn’t.”

“Besides, he’s going to take her to the end, all on his own. You just wait.”

Peter guffawed. “You’re insane.”

“You don’t understand Bennett,” Jessa said, casually scrolling Twitter. “Really, he’s just a chunky kid who’s never felt loved.She adores him in just the way he needs. Unconditionally.” Jessa shrugged. “It’s not that deep.”

Peter stopped pacing and looked at her. Unbelievable. For all her wins this season, Jessa still completely misunderstood the fundamentals. “If people were smart enough to choose the people who adored them unconditionally, Jessa,” he said, “we wouldn’t have a show at all.”

A stern-looking nurse in pink scrubs and a name badge that read “Yolanda, Nurse Supervisor,” approached. “I’ve seen a lot, but an entire waiting room filled with cameramen and girls in bikinis? It’s like an episode ofLove Islandout there.” She crossed her arms over her chest and peered at them through bifocals perched at the end of her nose. “What show is this anyway?”

Jessa jumped up. “You watchLove Island? I love that!Love Islandis sort of a trashier version of our show. This isThe Key.”

“Never heard of it.”

“Are you serious?” Peter exclaimed, eyes widening.

Nurse Yolanda shrugged and walked back to the nurses’ station, calling over her shoulder, “Best get those cameras out of my waiting room.”

“We’re on it!” Jessa said with a big thumbs-up.

Peter sighed dramatically, blowing a great gust of air out of puffed cheeks. “You’ve got to be kidding me. We’re getting replaced byLove Islandin the fifty-five-plus demo?” He collapsed in the chair again and massaged the muscles at the base of his neck. “Truly unbelievable.”

“We don’t need the entire crew,” Jessa said, poking at her phone and thinking out loud. “I’ll have Chuck bring the vans around. But the girls should stay—what if we get a chance to shoot with them? Maybe we should get them some robes or something. Oh my god, let’s get them hospital gowns, that would be hilarious.” She waggled her brows at Peter.

“If we lose the fifty-five-plus demo, our ratings will be in the toilet.”

“They’ll probably let us bring one camera in, so let’s keep Greg…”

“Jessa.” Peter looked at her seriously. “I know you think I’m just some high-strung asshole who worries too much. But you don’t get it. This season, this could end my career. You’ll be fine, but me—Carole Steele is going to ruin me. And then what? I’m going to be some high-strung asshole who failed at some shit he didn’t want to do anyway?”

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