Page 52 of Fan Favorite

Look, if you had, one shot,

one opportunity,

to seize everything you ever wanted,

in one moment,

would you capture it?

Or just let it slip?

Metal doors CLANG. Footsteps POP. A TEAM enters, striding side by side, superheroes with blow-dryers, clothing racks, and medical equipment.

The WOMAN looks up. It’s EDIE.

QUICK CUTS:

… EDIE runs on the beach; she’s struggling. The DATING COACH yells—

DATING COACH

No pain! No pain!

… EDIE’s laid out on a weightlifting bench. Waxing strips are stuck all over her face. Hands appear and rip them off. EDIE moans.

… in the locker room, A HAIRSTYLIST shows EDIE how to dry her hair.

HAIRSTYLIST

She’s never going to get it.

DATING COACH

She’s got to.

… back on the beach, EDIE trips and falls.

… EDIE stares straight ahead, struggling to keep a glowing Crest 3DWhitestrips Blue Light™ LED teeth whitener in her mouth, as a syringe enters the frame. It punctures her brow.

… a very full glass of green juice. EDIE refuses to drink it.

DATING COACH

You want to get married?

EDIE chugs.

… EDIE collapses in the sand. And then finds it within herself to start crawling.

DATING COACH

That’s it! That’s it!

… the DATING COACH holds up a tiny thong and giant pair of Spanx. EDIE chooses the Spanx. The TEAM cheers.

… EDIE applies her own lipstick. The TEAM cheers.

… the DATING COACH shows EDIE how to toss her hair and smile. EDIE masters it. The TEAM cheers.

---