Page 74 of Fan Favorite

“Nothing.” Peter gathered his phone and room key from the bar. “I’m calling it a night.”

“Why does he say shit like that?” Edie asked Jessa. Then, to his departing back, “Why do you say shit like that?”

He turned. “Like what?”

“Oh, I don’t know,” she said. “Just the shit you say that’s clearly meant to make me feel stupid.”

“I’m not making you feel stupid.” Peter caught his reflection in the mirror over the bar. He looked like a smug asshole. He shouldn’t be baiting her. Why was he baiting her? “Maybe liking Bennett Charles is making you feel stupid.”

“Peter, what the hell?” Jessa interjected.

“Who said I liked him?”

An image of Edie straddling Bennett in Scotland—right in front of the cameras!—crossed Peter’s mind and he was righteous all over again. “You’re still here, aren’t you?”

“Oh, I’m sorry, did you want me to go?” Edie challenged. “Is that why you’ve been ignoring me? Because you haven’t spoken to me in days, Peter. But here you are now, the night before the lock-in, ready to share your opinion. So, let’s hear it. Let it all out. ’Cause I really don’t see your point.”

There was a reasonable part of him that knew he should shut up, that knew he was not only putting the show at risk, but also exposing himself in a way that was better left concealed.But there was an even bigger part of him that was hurt by her blatant disregard for their… whatever it was.Connection.And who wanted her to know it.

“Just saying, you looked pretty happy when he had his tongue down your throat in Edinburgh.”

“Peter!” Jessa exclaimed.

Edie stepped toward him until they were face-to-face, two prizefighters ready to knock each other out. “Are you serious right now?” she hissed. “You’re gonna come at me with some slut-shaming nonsense over a show thatyouproduce? Who made your repressed, cranky ass the moral compass ofThe Key? At least I’m out here. At least I’mtrying. Which is more than I can say for you, someone who thinks love is some unattainable mirage because he’s too scared to let someone actually know him. Well,Iknow you, Peter. And the truth is, you have some good moments, but overall, you suck.”

And with that, Edie turned on her heel and walked out of the bar.

“Dude.” Jessa gaped at him. “What thefuck?”

Peter threw his arms in the air.

Exhaled an angry sigh.

Rubbed his face with both hands and scratched his scalp until his hair was standing on end.

Of course Edie was right. Of course he was a hypocritical asshole who’d set her up to fall in love with Bennett and then got mad when she did. Andof coursehe was scared to let someone know him, because, just like she said, he had some good moments, but overall, he was a mess. The kind of person who equated being in love with feeling like shit. And if he loved her, which he thought maybe he did, why was he acting like this?

Peter took off through the lounge. Right as he turned the corner to the elevators, he saw her getting on.

“I’m sorry—” he said, jumping in after her.

“Save it,” Edie said, pounding the button for the eleventh floor. “We have, what? A week and a half left? Then we never have to see each other again.” She gestured at the closing doors. “You can go. You’re super good at that.” He didn’t move. “Oh, good, you’re gonna stay. Why would I care? I don’t care.”

“Well, I care!” Peter yelled before he could stop himself. Seeing her cold like this made him feel wild and desperate. “If you haven’t noticed, I care so fucking much it’s literally ruining my life!”

“Oh my god,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Poor Peter.”

He stepped in front of her so she’d have to look at him. “Edie,” he pleaded. “I’m sorry.”

“Great, apology accepted.” She stepped to the other side of the elevator. “So let’s just drop it, okay?”

He knew he should drop it. Let her get off the elevator and then ride back down to his room and check his email. Except that’s not what he wanted to do anymore. It was like on that plane to Scotland—all at once this dream of domestic life came back to him and he could picture them together, not in his Malibu condo, but maybe somewhere in the hills, or Topanga Canyon—they could get one of thoseSelling Sunsetagents to find them a place, she’d love that, and he’d make BBQ chicken and corn on the cob and they’d eat on the deck, butter running down their chins. And maybe they’d have a couple of kids—he could already tell she’d be an amazing mom from the way she listened so deeply to everything the other girls said to her, and by how much their feelings mattered to her—and it was this vision of their life together that ruined everything about his current workaholic bachelor situation, not to mention made every single LA girl seem completely wrong for him. Now, when he fell asleep next to his glowing laptop, with that stupid little snow globe of the Chicago skyline she’d given him when they met sitting on hishotel nightstand, he felt sad because all he wanted to do was fall asleep next to her.

“Trust me, I wish I could,” he said, a little manic. “It would make everything easier if I could drop it. ’Cause, you know, I’m just over here dismantling everything I’ve built over the past ten years because of you.”

Edie stared at the doors, unimpressed. “What are you even talking about, Peter?”

“Edie, Jesus Christ, don’t you get it? I’m crazy about you! When we’re not together, all I do is think about you. I watch footage of you, which, as I’m saying this out loud, I realize sounds completely creepy. But sometimes I’m watching you and you seem so into Bennett that it makes me fucking crazy and I can’t figure out how you actually feel because whatever it is between us feels soreal,but then, there you are, making out with Bennett, which is just like—” He was pacing around the tiny space now, his hands on either side of his head, mimicking an explosion. “And you deserve so much better. You’re so smart and funny and kind and I like you so much and every time I’m with you, I just want to be with you more, so yeah, I leave! Because this is insane! It’s a really bad idea! But you know that video with Janet Jackson in that bone vest, ‘like a moth to the flame, burned by the fire?’ That’s the situation here.”

---