Page 80 of Fan Favorite

“What’s the deal with Charlie anyway? What’s he like?”

“He’s sweet. And hot.” Edie thought about it. “But this new version of him needs a lot of attention. He’s got this frantic vibe that he tries to hide, but you can always feel it, like, right there.”

“So, he’s exactly the same.”

Lauren smirked, and they cracked up.

“I guess so.” Edie shook her head. “Honestly, it’s always made me feel very loving toward him. I just want to be like, ‘Chill out, it’s cool. I got you.’”

“You’ve always had a lot of empathy for idiots,” Lauren agreed.

“Being on reality TV is sociopathic.” Edie looked at her best friend seriously. “I’m not kidding. It’s literally insane.”

“I know.”

“Not to mentionproducingit.”

“Awful.”

“But why would he leave like that, Lauren?” Edie dug around in the glove compartment for a Kleenex. She found an old Taco Bell napkin and let out a strangled cry. The universe was relentless. She blew her nose. “That’s what doesn’t make sense. Why would he tell me he’s falling in love with me and then just disappear?”

“I mean, I don’t know him, Edie. What doyouthink?”

Edie chewed her lip. “Maybe he didn’t know what to do about the show-slash-his-career?” she offered finally. “Maybe he was scared?”

“Fear’s a very real motivator,” Lauren agreed. “It’s how you ended up on this stupid show in the first place.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, you got dumped by Brian and you got scared you’d be alone forever, so you grabbed onto the first thing you saw, and now here we are.”

Edie’s eyes got big. It’s not that this assessment didn’t ring true, but the ease with which Lauren declared it was a shock. “If you knew all that,” Edie said, crossing her arms over her chest, defensive, “why didn’t you tell me not to go?”

“Oh my god.I did.I texted you the number to my therapist’s office.”

“So you think I’m stupid for going? And that this is all my fault?”

“Of course I don’t think that.”

“You don’t?”

“Edie, I think it’s inspiring the way you go after what you want. But, you know, you take big swings. And sometimes they’re big misses. And that’s okay, too. But I think you needto understand that this time, it’s bigger than you. You’re all over the internet—”

But Edie was in her own world.

“The thing is, I don’t understand how dating is the one thing you’re supposed to do over and over again and keep expecting different results. It’s terrible. You get your heart broken, or you sleep with someone, and they disappear before you even open your eyes, and you’re expected to pick yourself up and dust yourself off. How am I supposed to keep doing this?”

Lauren shrugged. “Maybe you’re not.”

“What does that mean?”

“I dunno. I’m just saying—I see you struggling for answers to something that seems sort of unanswerable. I think sometimes people get lucky and they find what they’re looking for. Sometimes people get married and spend their lives miserable. Some people find a lot of fulfillment in their careers, or through helping others, or gardening or cooking or art, and so maybe a partner isn’t the most important thing to them. There are all sorts of ways to be a person, and none of them is less valid than another. I think what you, Edie Pepper, are supposed to do is figure out how to be happy. How to love yourself. And maybe take the pressure off, pull the release valve on this one thing for a minute.”

Edie sighed. Everything was terrible. Except Lauren. Lauren was never terrible.

“So, am I just supposed to not want things?” she asked in a small voice. She looked down at her hands, embarrassed. “And then I’ll be happy?”

“Edie, my love, you can wanteverything. You just can’t hate yourself because you don’t have it yet.” Lauren tugged on Edie’s ponytail affectionately. “You’re gonna be okay. Lemmejust run in and get some supplies. And then we’ll go home and turn on Bravo.”

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