Page 133 of A Bolt of Magic

“It wasn’t that big of a deal.”

“Not that big of a deal?” His voice is gruff. “You nearly died. That’s huge.”

“You would have done the same for me.”

“It doesn’t matter. I need you to promise that you will never do that again. Not for anyone. I don’t care who it is. Even if they are dying. Even if it is me. You promise me that you won’t use your life essence again for any reason.”

“I promise,” I tell him. “But I’m not sorry I did it. I couldn’t lose you, Kian. I couldn’t.”

His expression softens slightly. “I was so sure I’d lost you. When you collapsed in my arms, when you wouldn’t wake up…” He shakes his head. “I’ve never been so terrified in my life. You’ve been lying in bed, slowly fading from this world for days, and nothing anyone did helped. I’ve never felt so useless, so afraid…fucking terrified, and it can never happen again. I’m grateful to your grandmother for everything she did. She gave me back the most precious thing in my world.”

The tears come again, but these are different. “I said that I promise never to do it again, and I meant it. I won’t.”

“Good.” He seems to relax.

“I’m sorry,” we both say at the same time.

We both smile.

“You first,” Kian tells me.

I take a shaking breath. “I just wanted to say that I’m sorry I let you walk away. I should have known my mother was up to something. I should have realized she’d found a way to separate us so she could turn you into…whatever it is that you became. I should have known you would never hurt me intentionally, that you were lashing out because of something she did. Something she orchestrated. In fact, I did know, deep down but I…I was hurt. I wasn’t thinking.”

“McColl—”

“Let me finish,” I say, placing my hand on his chest. “She told me what she did. How she planned it all. How she used my grandmother as a puppet to get me to do exactly what she wanted. My grandmother was never lucid. It was my mother all along.”

Kian's face darkens with anger. “She used your grandmother like that. I almost can’t believe the lengths she went to. I can’tbelieve what she’s capable of. That’s sinking to a new low.” He shakes his head in disgust.

“It happened alright. She needed us to solidify our power. Then she needed you to leave on your own. She had to split us up, so she spoke through my grandmother, pretending to be her. It’s disgusting. It was my mother who spoke those horrible words. I should have realized it wasn’t her talking. My grandmother would never have suggested I use someone I cared about.”

“Even so, you didn’t do anything wrong. We had an agreement. I had no right to get so angry. To say those things. I swear I was going to come back and apologize for being such a horse’s ass. It took me a little while to come to my senses, to see through the pain of hearing your grandmother say that. When you didn’t set the record straight, I…I just…”

“You had every right to be angry. Having anagreementwith someone andusingthem are two very different things. What we had was honest. It was open. We both knew what we were getting into. I don’t blame you for getting upset when you thought I took my grandmother’s advice touseyou to get my powers. Like I didn’t give a damn about you. It couldn’t be further from the truth. I was shocked she said it. It all makes sense now.”

“The reason it got to me so badly was because my feelings for you had grown so much stronger than I wanted to admit. I was trying not to acknowledge what we had, trying to keep it simple and practical. When I heard your grandmother’s words, it felt like a sharp knife to my heart. I had planned on asking you to come with me up until that point. I was hurt, but I should never have—”

“I could have said something. I should have. I knew something was off. I planned on asking you…no, begging you to take me with you, but then you were so…so cold. I thought I hadmisread the whole situation. I was reeling with shock when you left.”

“I gave it some thought, and I felt so guilty. I realized I'd made a terrible mistake, but it was too late. Your mother was waiting for me on the mountain path. She ambushed me. She was alone and wanted me alone and vulnerable.”

I reach up to touch his face, tracing the line of his jaw with my fingertips. “She mentioned something about us being stronger together. That you have more control over your magic when I’m nearby. I think she was afraid of us as a united force. She needed you to have your power so that she could turn you for Snow. She wanted me to have my power so that I could finally be the daughter she always wanted. She needed us to have sex in order to do that, but didn’t want us together. She made that clear.”

“To me as well. She hated the thought of you and I actually together.”

“So, she orchestrated a way to break us up. I had also decided that I’d made a mistake letting you talk to me like that and then leaving. I also had a feeling that something was up, but when I tried to leave, the house was surrounded by the Children of the Veil. I wasn’t permitted to go after you. My mother is cunning. She’s exactly the kind of witch who gives all witches a bad reputation.”

“I heard about what you did. The whole village is talking about it. They’re all rooting for you to pull through. I’ve been told different versions of the same story many times.”

I groan and scrub a hand over my face.

“Don’t be like that. You should be able to take a compliment. I was told how you stood up to her in front of the entire coven. How you convinced them that what she’d done was wrong, even though it put you at great risk.”

Heat floods my cheeks. “I couldn’t let her get away with it. What she did to you was unforgivable. You would have done the same had the tables been turned.”

“We’re not talking about me, we’re talking about you, and I’m so damned proud of you,” he says, taking my hand and pressing it to his lips. “From what I heard, you were magnificent. Brave and strong and everything I’ve always known you to be.” His eyes lock with mine. “I need you to know that I love you, too.” He smirks at me.

I frown. “What was that? Too? What do you mean by ‘too’?”

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