Page 150 of Axel

“Oh, no,” she mutters. “You’re going to live long and hard over this.”

She’s not raging. She’s not running. I almost wish she would, because this new version of Ruby? It’s impressive. It’s terrifying. It’s seductive.

It’s my queen.

I turn off the light and roll her way, needing to hold her.

But she turns her back on me, cuddling her pillow.

For minutes, I stare at her curvy silhouette and fiery hair. I’m respecting her boundaries. The last thing she wants is for me to touch her.

“Axel?”

“Yes?”

“Did you kiss her?”

“No. I mean…” Fuck, no more secrets. “Not on her lips. Just enough to?—”

“Was she good?”

Shit. This is fucking with her head.It would fuck with minetoo. Hell, I’m tempted to murder every man Ruby’s ever been with, while she’s just asking about one woman.

“I’m trying to be a gentleman here. I don’t want?—”

“Just tell me. Was Alena better than me?”

Jesus fuck.

That’s what she’s worried about?

I have to catch my breath. I have to speak through a strangled throat. I have to fight my own tears.

“Ruby, you bring me to my knees. Only you. Every goddamn time I touch you.”

She doesn’t answer. She doesn’t move.

It feels like forever passes, and I know she’s not asleep.

But when I hear her muffled crying.

Fuck respecting boundaries.

I wrap around her and hold her tight.

“You lied to me,” she whispers, “and it hurts so much.”

“I know. I know, and I’m so sorry.”

“I need time.”

I swallow. “And I need you. Take all the time you need.”

Please, don’t need long.

But she does.

Days become weeks that bleed into over a month, which almost kills me.

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