Page 15 of Rancher's Strength

“I can’t do this,” I whispered as I stopped in the hallway, tears pricking my eyes. Too much had happened in the last week. I wasn’t sure I could handle my father not knowing me.

“You can, and I’ll be right here with you.” He placed his hand on the small of my back, and the touch made me move again. He wasn’t pushing me. He was supporting me.

My father’s door was partially closed, so I knocked and waited. A nurse walked past and looked at us before smiling. “Go on in, if he’s asleep, just nudge his shoulder. He’ll be happy to see you, Lexie.” I looked at the nurse again and glanced down at her name tag.

“Carrie, it’s good to see you.” I smiled at the woman. We’d been in the same graduating class, and I’d forgotten she wanted to be a nurse. She was always so caring, so it didn’t surprise me that this was what she’d chosen to do.

“You too, maybe we can catch up while you’re here. I’m so sorry to hear about your friends. If you need anything for the kids just call.” Her smile was genuine, and I nodded. “Have a good visit.” She nodded at Ryder and carried on down the hallway.

The door opened with a slight squeak as I walked into my father’s room for the first time. He sat in his chair, the same chair he’d had at home the last time I’d been there. His hair was completely grey, and he was balding slightly. The wrinkles on his face were deeper, and he frowned slightly as he slept. He looked like a shell of the man who could lift Lydia and me at the same time without a grunt.

His large hands rested on his lap, but they were withered and looked like skin and bone. Bringing my hand to my mouth, I choked back a sob. Reaching out, I touched his shoulder, and he startled awake. “Hello.” He smiled, and that was the same as always.

“Hi, Daddy,” I said as I took a seat in the chair beside him. I didn’t miss the furrow in his brow as he looked at me, trying to figure out who I was. His eyes shifted to Ryder, and I saw a flash of recognition there, but he didn’t say anything and shifted his gaze back to me.

“It’s been too long, Aaron,” Ryder said as he extended his hand for my father to shake.

His arm trembled as he lifted it to shake Ryder’s hand. “It certainly has, son. What’s been happening at the Diamond these days?” My father relaxed and focused his attention on Ryder.

“Oh, not much, a lot of fall clean up and winter prep. But I didn’t come here to talk shop. We’ll save that for my next visit.” The men laughed, and my father nodded.

“I sure like hearing about the ranch, you know. So, what’s so serious that you brought this pretty lady to visit me here?” He looked back at me, and the crushing weight of my father’sdisease settled on my shoulders. He knew my ex-husband, but didn’t know me.

My father’s eyes dropped from Ryder to me, and as if the fog lifted, his eyes cleared and sparkled like I remembered. “Alexandra, I’ve been longing to see you child.” He held out his arms, and I slid off the chair and knelt in front of him as he wrapped his arms around me. I couldn’t stop the tears that cascaded from my eyes. “My sweet girl, what brings you home?”

“I came home because there’s been a change in my situation.” I looked back at Ryder, and his smile made me strong. “And well, that something is us getting back together.”

“In truth, sir, I’d like to ask for Lexie’s hand in marriage again.” Ryder’s voice was strong and sure. There wasn’t a hint of hesitation in his question to my dad.

“Well, you sure know how to make an old man happy. You’ve got it, young man.” He smiled and patted my hand. “So, besides getting back together, what’s your practice been like lately?”

My father was the reason I went into law. I’d followed in his footsteps, only for him to quit and buy a bar. It had been the oddest thing, but as I looked back, I could see law wasn’t his passion. He’d been a rancher’s son and grew up in a home where following in the family business wasn’t encouraged. Eventually, the ranch he grew up on was bought by Kipp Miller Sr., and we were afforded the luxury of living in the old house.

Miller understood that maintaining a connection to family land provided stability, and even though we no longer owned the property, I had grown up in the same place as my father.

“It’s divorces, Dad, not much good about them. But I’m keeping busy.” My tone was light, but caution filled my heart knowing that at any moment he’d be taken from me again.

“Any word on making partner?” His question took me aback, because there’s no way he should know that. “Your mom told me it was a possibility, and that was why you couldn’t come home.”

It hadn’t been a lie, but sitting in front of him, I felt like the biggest fraud. “Nothing new on that front. The firm is still dangling it over our heads.” I didn’t tell him that I’d been passed over for a man who was severely under qualified, and I’d put my head to the grindstone even more for the next time the opportunity came up, but it hadn’t yet.

“Well, it’ll happen when it’s supposed to. Maybe you don’t need it if you’re marrying Ryder again. Take my old office and open up a firm of your own. Screw those city assholes who can’t see your potential.” He chuckled to himself.

I didn’t want to tell him that mom had sold the building last year and that whoever had bought it had torn it down, leaving just a vacant lot. He didn’t need to know the dream he’d once had was gone.

“I’ll look into that Dad, for sure.” I smiled, and as if I were watching someone being ripped from my clutches, the brightness in his eyes faded, and his generic smile filled his face again.

He nodded and looked up at Ryder. "Hello."

“I’ll be back in a few days, okay, Dad.” I took his face in my hands as I spoke, hoping to preserve whatever brief moment I’d had with him.

“Okay, I’d like that.” There was no familiarity, but he nodded.

“See you, sir,” Ryder said as he took my hand before we walked out the door.

“Goodbye, son.” My heart broke. Did he remember Ryder, or was it merely what he’d called everyone?

I looked down at the pastel speckles on the white floor and didn’t raise my gaze as we walked past the nursing station and left the building. Ryder pulled open the truck door, and I climbed in. Letting my head fall into my hands, I didn’t try to stop the tears. Sobs wracked my body as Ryder started the truck and drove out of the parking lot.

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