Page 22 of Rancher's Strength

“Uncle Ryder, is everything okay?” Ruby asked after I had tucked her into bed.

“Yeah, kiddo, it’s fine.” I pasted a smile on my face before I pressed a kiss to her forehead. “There’s nothing for you to worry about.” She nodded, but I wasn’t sure it would be the end of her questions. I’d answer everyone she had, but I was hoping for no more tonight.

Quietly, I passed Lexie in the hallway and walked into Sawyer’s room. “Well, little man, it’s time for bed.” He nodded, and I couldn’t help but smile at him.

“Could you teach me to fight?” Sawyer asked as he clenched his fist and pretended to box.

“I can when you’re older, but fighting should be the last resort.”

“Then why’d you fight today? Was it the last resort?”

“No, pal, it wasn’t, and I shouldn’t have lost my temper like that.”

“You going to say sorry to your friends?” His voice was so sweet, and I hated myself for what I was about to tell him.

“No, because I’m not sorry. I shouldn’t have punched Kipp, but he and Griff really hurt Auntie Lexie and me, so I think they’re the ones who need to apologize first.”

“Being an adult seems hard.” His little brows furrowed, and he shook his head. I couldn’t help but chuckle.

“It is sometimes. Goodnight pal.” He reached out for a hug, and I held him tightly before letting him go, pulling the blankets up and tucking them around him just how he wanted them. I moved to the door and flicked off the light, leaving his door open just a crack so the light from the hallway shone in, allowing him to see if he needed to get up.

Slowly, I walked down the stairs, undoing the top few buttons on my shirt. The couch was calling my name, and I flopped down onto it, closing my eyes as I let my head fall back against the cushions. What a disaster of a day. I knew no one was truly happy about what we were doing, and they clearly didn’t understand why—but they couldn’t even pretend to accept it. I didn’t need them to like it, just to acknowledge it for what it was.

“Need this?” Lexie’s voice cut through my thoughts. Opening my eyes, I lifted my head and saw her standing beside me with a beer in one hand and a bag of frozen vegetables in the other.

“Yes,” I huffed as I took them from her. She’d changed since I’d seen her in the hallway. She wore short shorts and an oversized T-shirt. A shirt that wasn’t oversized on me but was almost a dress on her. I thought she’d walk away, but she took a seat beside me on the couch.

“Why didn’t I know?”

“It’s not something I talk about. And since our marriage ending was the cause of it, I didn’t think opening up to you was the right thing to do.” Sarcasm hung heavy in my words, and I didn’t even try to hide it.

“Ry.”

“Lexie, I’m fine. I saw a therapist—well, I see a therapist. I went on anti-depressants, which I still take religiously to this day, and I’ve been fine since.”

“But how can you even look at me, knowing I caused that?” Her voice was so quiet and filled with guilt.

“Lex, here’s the thing: you didn’t cause anything. Truth be told, I’ve been struggling with depression most of my life. I learned that in therapy.” Shifting on the couch, I wanted to look at her to make her see it wasn’t her at all. “Please don’t beat yourself up over this.”

“Is there anything I need to watch for?”

“No, there’s nothing, as long as I stay on my meds and I keep talking to my therapist.”

“How often do you talk to them?”

“Once a month now, I might make an appointment for this week; though, there’s been a lot going on.” I smiled at her, and relief filled her eyes.

“Okay.” She nodded and bit the corner of her mouth. “So not to change the subject but Ruby asked if we’d be sleeping in the same room now that we’re married.”

“I suppose we should. If anyone questions the kids, they won’t be able to avoid telling the truth.”

“That’s what I thought too.”

“Where’d the cake get to?” I asked as I leaned over and peered into the kitchen. “I didn’t get any.”

“Well, the kids got into it, but there’s a few pieces left.” When she came back into the living room, she was carrying the slab of cake that was left and two forks. Setting the cake between us on the couch, she handed me a fork and took a seat gently so she didn’t jostle the cake and make a mess.

“Do I get to feed you a piece?”