Page 6 of Rancher's Strength

“Okay, go get your pajamas on, and Auntie Lexie will order supper.” The kids let him go and reached for one another’s hands as they moved quietly up the stairs to their rooms. I couldn’t be in the same room, the air felt like it was being sucked away from me, and my heart raced at being in such close proximity to him.

Turning, I wanted to run away, but Ryder grasped my arm and pulled me back to him. Instinctively, I wrapped my arms around him and buried my face in his chest. He smelled the same as always. I let out my muffled sobs—cedar, citrus, and him. I could smell him so vividly in my dreams that some nights, I would have sworn he was in my bedroom, at the foot of my bed, watching me sleep and reaching out to touch me. But I always woke up before he did.

“Why them? They had so much to live for?” I whispered, sure he wouldn’t have heard me.

“I don’t know, it’s not fair at all.” He kissed the top of my head, and I pulled away from him.

“I need to order pizza.” The kitchen was tidy. I didn’t expect anything less from Anita. There were still coffee mugs in the sink, and it once again hit me that, in the blink of an eye, twopeople who thought they’d be home in a few days never would be.

The doorbell rang almost thirty minutes after I’d made the phone call to the pizza place. I’d found the number on the side of the fridge, so I figured it must have been where they usually ordered from. When Ryder opened the door, I couldn’t help but feel bad for the jovial pizza delivery man. He tried to engage Ryder in conversation but didn’t get more than one-syllable answers from him.

Sawyer picked the movie, and while it should have been funny, nobody really laughed. I missed Ruby and Sawyer’s laughter. In all the dark moments after I left Ryder, when I needed something to cling to, it had been them and their innocence. But now they needed to cling to me.

“I think it’s time for bed,” Ryder said quietly, and I looked down at Sawyer, whose head was resting on Ryder’s chest, breathing deeply, his eyes closed but a quiet tear resting on his cheek. With a nod, I helped Ruby off the floor and wrapped my arm around her. “Divide and conquer. Good night, sweet girl. We’ll be here in the morning,” Ryder whispered as he kissed the top of Ruby’s head.

“Uncle Ry, could Sawyer and I sleep in Mom and Dad’s room?”

“Absolutely you can.” His voice was suddenly thick, and he blinked rapidly. “Auntie, Lexie, and I will sleep in there, too, in case you need us.” I hadn’t given much thought to where I would sleep tonight, but sharing the same room as Ryder hadn’t even crossed my mind.

“Thank you,” she said quietly before hugging him tightly.

“So, what are we going to do?” I asked Ryder as I quietly pulled the door closed. I’d stayed in the room until Ruby drifted off to sleep, and Ryder stood leaning against the dresser, his arms crossed and focused on the two sleeping children in themassive bed. He didn’t say anything, he just motioned for me to follow him.

We walked past the kitchen and the living room, making our way toward the stairs leading to the basement. Once we reached the bottom, entering Hank’s office, Ryder opened a door and flicked on the light in the room. “He told me years ago they keep a copy of their will in their safe.” He moved behind the desk and took down the large family photo from the wall. Sure enough, there was a safe, and without hesitation, Ryder punched in a code. The whirring and the thunk of the lock opening made me jump. God, I was so jumpy today, it wasn’t like me. But then again, I didn’t make it a habit of being in the same room as my ex-husband for lengthy periods anymore.

Ryder pulled out an envelope and handed it to me. “You’ll be better at reading this than I will.” He gave me a look full of longing and took a seat behind the desk. He’d never given himself enough credit. Ryder was smart, and he could have read this with ease. Even in subjects he had little knowledge of, he knew what he was talking about.

“Of course, everything was organized,” I said as I skimmed the document and froze, letting my eyes drift from the paper to him.

“What is it?” he asked, the frown going deeper on his face with every second I didn’t reply to him. “Lex?”

“They want us to raise the kids together.” I frowned as I reread the will. “In the same place.”

“How long ago was this will written?” It was a logical question. More often than not, people wrote a will and never changed it. In fact, I was pretty sure mine still said to leave everything I had to Ryder.

“It was updated last year.” I flipped through the pages, thinking they’d made a mistake and included a page from the old will, but they were all dated a year ago.

“Well, we agreed to be the kids’ guardians when we were together. I just assumed they’d find someone else, and Anita wouldn’t have overlooked something like that.”

“There’s a letter addressed to you and me.” I handed it to Ryder because I didn’t think I’d be able to open it, much less read it.

The sound of paper tearing made me look at the man sitting across from me. Reaching for the chair behind me, I sat and held my breath.

Lexie and Ryder,

This is a letter I hope you never have to read, but if you do, then things have gone horribly wrong. When we asked you to be the guardians of our children, we never doubted that you were the perfect partners. Along the way, you both forgot that you make one another whole. We’ve seen you both navigate this divorce, but neither of you is actually the same without the other.

We request that you live together for a year to ease the transition for our kids. We don’t care where you live. All we ask is that you bury us somewhere nearby so our babies know where we are.

If, after the year, you can’t make things work together, we would like you to remain in the same town. The kids will come to rely on you as a couple, like they didHank and me. No matter what happens, they need to know you both will be there for them.

We don’t want a huge service, just something intimate with our closest friends so the kids can have some closure.

We love you both, and please let Ruby and Sawyer know that we did everything we could to return to them.

Anita and Hank

The house was so quiet that I swore I could hear it settling. I reached for the letter and read it repeatedly, hoping I’d find something different, but the words never changed.

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