Page 9 of Rancher's Strength

Lexie didn’t look at me again for the rest of breakfast. Our tender moment in the room was over, and now it was back to silence and ignoring. This would be a difficult year.

With breakfast finished, I went down to Hank’s office and pored over the paperwork. I noted the addresses of the places I’d need to visit. I made the phone call to Hank’s workplace to notify them. I hadn’t expected his boss to break down in tears on the other end of the line, but Hank just had that effect on people. When I hung up, I felt exhausted, glancing at my watch, I was surprised to see it was only ten in the morning. I was sure I’d worked right through lunch.

“I thought you might need this.” Lexie held up a steaming cup of coffee, and the rich aroma wafted through the office.

“Thank you.” Taking the cup from her, I brush my fingers over hers, and she lets go of the cup, as if I’d scalded her.

“So, what’s left to do? Both kids went for a nap. I didn’t know if I should let them, but they’re so tired.” She looked tired, too, and for only having gotten up a few hours ago, this was hard, just existing right now was hard.

“I think it’s okay, and we can deal with it later if they’re wired until midnight. But at least when they’re asleep, they can forget everything that’s gone on.” At least, I hoped that was the case. Neither of them had talked about nightmares, but the shock of it all still might be too fresh for that to happen.

As far as what’s left, I need to go to a few places. Hank’s work said they’d pack up his things. I called about a storage locker in Everton so we can have a place to keep all the things that we might need from the house or that we shouldn’t leave here.

“Can I get your keys? I’ll go do this running around and get things lined up with movers and stuff, but I need to borrow your car.”

“Yeah, keys are in my purse,” she said without giving it much thought.

“And you just want me to rifle through your purse to find them?” I asked as I stood, gathering the papers I thought might be needed.

“Oh, right, um, yeah, I suppose not.” Standing, she left the room and almost sprinted to the hallway. Frantically she dug through her disaster of a purse. Some things never changed, I thought to myself.

“Thanks,” I said, when she plunked them in my hand.

Chapter Five

LEXIE

Sawyer had been sitting at the large window in the front room since he woke up from his nap, waiting for Ryder to return to the house. He’d even eaten lunch there. What was I supposed to do to help him? Ruby curled up on the couch in Anita’s robe, watching whatever was on TV. I moved from one to the other, giving hugs and holding them for as long as they needed.

I puttered around the house, making mental notes of things that needed to come with us when we headed back to the ranch, and I found boxes in the basement to pack things up. It was all an elaborate plan to keep myself busy, but all it did was make me cry and remember the fun times we’d had over the years.

When I lifted the lid on Anita’s jewelry box, it felt intrusive, and my stomach rolled as I glanced at the belongings inside. A piece of paper poked out from beneath some necklaces, and I pulled it out. It wasn’t paper at all—it was a picture of her and me. As I stared at it, I remembered that day vividly. It was the end of our first week of college. We’d sat beside each other in our first class and had been inseparable since.

With a sigh, I sat on the floor, held the photograph to my chest, and let the tears flow freely. I hadn’t cried in front of the kids today. They needed strength, not me in fits of tears.

I didn’t hear him come in, but the air in the room shifted, and I knew he was there, sitting beside me, letting me cry. God, I needed his arms to hold me, but my head told me I needed to stay away. This wasn’t the time to blur the lines I’d fought so hard to erase.

Why was there never a tissue when I needed one? Using my sleeve, I wiped my face and runny nose. Well, that was gross, I thought to myself before shifting to look at Ryder.

“Did you get everything done?” I asked as I sniffled again.

“Yeah, there’s a few things we’ll need paperwork for, but the ball is rolling. I’ll go to the bank when we get the death certificate and finish paying the outstanding bills, and we can have their accounts and life insurance put in a trust for the kids. From the paperwork in Hank’s office, there’s still a mortgage on the house, so I’ll take care of that if there aren’t death benefits on the loan… so there’s nothing to worry about other than the kids.” He was rambling; he did it when he didn’t know what to say.

“I can help with the mortgage,” I said quietly.

“Sweetheart, I know you can, but I won’t let you. I’m not even going to notice that amount gone from my account.” He held out his hand, and I placed mine in his. I knew he didn’t need the money, but I would have felt bad not offering to help. I wasn’t Flying Diamond Five rich, but I’d done well in the years since our divorce, and I appreciated him taking care of things.

“What does this look like?” he asked as he turned his eyes away from me.

“I don’t know.” It wasn’t a lie or a copout, I really didn’t know. I’d spent three torturous years trying to forget him. And when I thought I’d sorted out my feelings, I’d see him again, and the wounds would open once more. Then he touched me at thecoffee shop. It was just a light brush of his hand across my hip, but it brought back all the memories.

His tender yet demanding touch. How he’d run his calloused hands down my body when we made love. The possessive way he’d hold my hand in a crowd or when he walked on the curb side of the street, even though we lived in a town with fewer than five hundred people and I’d known almost everyone since I was a baby. But he was a protector, and I knew that no matter what, during this next year, there’d be nothing we needed to worry about because he would have everything under control.

I needed to control my heart because if there was one thing about Ryder Saffort, it was that he knew how to make me forget everything except him.

My hand grew hot, and I pulled it away from his, as if it were on fire. “I need to check on the kids.” Hopping up from where I was sitting, I tossed the picture back into the jewelry box and practically ran out of the room.

Why was my breathing so erratic? I leaned against the wall and pressed my hand to my chest, trying to slow my pounding heart. A year in close proximity to that man might just kill me. “You better know what you’re doing,” I whispered to Anita, wherever her spirit was, hoping she heard me. She was probably up in the heavens, clapping her hands, kicking her feet, and squealing as she watched Ryder and me share these moments again. “Damn you,” I muttered as I turned to head down the stairs.

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