Page 163 of Hidden Daughters

‘That’s a result so.’ Lottie then addressed Imelda. ‘Have you talked to Bryan?’

‘I wanted to wait until the wedding was over.’

‘He will be delighted to get to know you.’

Imelda inclined her head to one side. ‘I’m not so sure about that.’

‘Can I ask if you knew he was your older brother?’

‘I didn’t know, not really. I was taken away by an aunt on my mother’s side. I wasn’t even a year old. I heard bits and pieces over the years. Enough to know that something awful had happened in the past. But I was led to believe I had no surviving family. It was only in recent years, when I went through my aunt’s belongings after she died, that I learned I once had a family in Galway.’

‘Why didn’t you approach Bryan directly about your relationship?’

‘I wasn’t sure of the whole truth. I had discovered that one of the family had been sent to the laundry, and it seemed right for me to try make a documentary about it. That’s my job. I hoped my research would open up my own past. Instead, I brought a murderer into the mix.’

‘Don’t fret. What’s done is done,’ Lottie said. ‘Come into the chapel with me. We’ll sit at the back. Take it one step at a time. How does that sound?’

‘Sounds good.’ Imelda smiled, and Lottie saw something of Bryan O’Shaughnessy in the girl’s eyes and the curve of her mouth. Sometimes you didn’t need DNA evidence for proof. It was right in front of you.

THE PAST

Nadine O’Shaughnessy thought all her problems were about to be solved when her Auntie June arrived. Her aunt had been in living in England. That was what her daddy said.

The door was open and her daddy was pushing her out, even though she hadn’t the buckle fully shut on her shoe. Clarks red shoes. She loved them, though they were too small for her. But she hadn’t told her mammy because she knew her daddy never gave Mammy enough money. Now she was dead and Nadine had to wear them because no way could she tell her daddy that she needed new shoes. But then she thought maybe if she was going to get educated, she’d get a new pair. She was about to open her mouth to ask when her auntie turned up.

‘Is it yourself?’ Daddy said.

‘Sure is.’ Auntie June was young. Maybe only about twenty years old, though Nadine wasn’t sure. She glanced down at the little girl, then back up at him like he was a bit of dirt on her shoe. ‘Where is the young one off to, all dressed up?’

‘I’m getting an education,’ Nadine said, realising she sounded a bit doubtful. Her big brother Bryan had gone somewhere to get an education. That was what she’d been told,anyway. But he never came home and her other brother was always out in the fields. She rarely saw him.

She heard the baby crying then, in the back room. Her daddy hadn’t given her time to change her nappy, and she could smell it. She turned to go back in, but he took a hold of her shoulder and made her face the door. Like he was using her as a shield for himself against her auntie. Or something like that.

‘She’s going to the convent, June. It’s what your sister would have wanted,’ he said. ‘I’d like you to get out of the way and leave us be.’

‘And why would I do that? I’m here to help with the young ones.’

‘Don’t need no help,’ he said. ‘But you can change that brat’s nappy while you’re here.’

Nadine could see red blotches appearing on her auntie’s cheeks and noticed she was wearing make-up. Cool.

Her daddy’s fingers pressed harder into her shoulder and his other hand gripped the scruff of her neck. She’d have a bruise there. Maybe Auntie June would give her some of her make-up to hide it. She wasn’t to know that nothing could hide the bruises she was yet to get.

But in that moment, she was happy that her aunt was there to care for her little baby sister, Imelda.

92

Bryan took Tess for a walk around the village before the wedding meal. He needed head space to process what had been revealed about Imelda. His heart was broken into tiny, miserable pieces of shame. He had no idea how to handle it.

He wished it was dark so that he could get in his car and drive to the ocean. He loved doing that at least once a week in the dead of night. No one knew about it. At least he didn’t think anyone did. It was his escape, for himself, by himself.

Just to listen to the sound of waves thundering against the rocks was a balm to his soul. An insignificant human being met with the force of nature. Threatening, but simultaneously soothing. It usually brought him peace from the demons haunting his soul. But now he had an abiding shame to overcome. Shame because he’d abandoned his sisters; he hadn’t searched for them. Shame that maybe he could have saved Nadine’s life. Shame that he might have known Imelda sooner and perhaps those people would not have been murdered. He also had to mourn Mary Elizabeth and the child he would never know. A family he’d lost because of his selfish need for his own survival.

And regret. So much regret.

He wiped away a stream of tears. Tess whimpered.

Then he shook himself.

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