Page 19 of Forged in Secrets

Her body remembered that terrible day, no matter how much her mind wanted to forget.

Ben’s voice faded as she melted away.

Only fear remained. Fear that had followed her like a shadow.

She was there in Indonesia again.

The bricks and mortar were falling all around her, sending dust into the air to mingle with the smoke, silencing more and more of the screams. People ran, tripping and getting up again, pushing their bodies harder as they tried desperately to flee.

She screamed for help from beneath the wooden beam that had fallen onto her torso, but no one stopped running. They couldn’t stop.

They were bleeding, crying. Many were injured even worse than she was. Fathers dragged their children toward the doors. Mothers and grandmothers gripped the edges of the heavy wooden pews, trying to remain upright on shattered legs.

“Gracie! Gracie, please, look at me!”

She looked down at her hands instead, shaking uncontrollably in her lap.

Her seatbelt was still pressing into her chest as her lungs burned and her heart pounded. Her throat felt thick, and her stomach roiled.

“Take it off,” she moaned, trying to make the muscles in her hands obey. She couldn’t breathe, couldn’t think,couldn’t–

“Take what off?” Ben asked, trying to meet her eyes even as she looked away, wanting to curl into herself, to hide, to do anything to get out.

“Take it off!” she shouted again, her own voice shrill and painful in her ears. “I can’t–my chest, my heart, I can’t breathe!”

Realization filled his green eyes as he reached down to her seatbelt and clicked it open, freeing her body from the restraint.

Her chest still hurt, but it was better.

“You need to breathe,” he was saying, his forehead glistening with sweat as he fumbled in the console for his phone. “I need to call 911.”

“Wait,” she managed, the words sandpaper in her throat. “No, I’m okay. Just give me a minute.”

The panic was already beginning to fade, subsiding almost as quickly as it had arisen.

Thank you, Lord Jesus.

Ben held his phone in his hands as he looked over at her, but he didn’t move to make any calls.

Grace pulled the cool, climate-controlled air into her lungs, breathing as slowly as she could, until her heart’s racing slowed.

Already, shame was beginning to replace her fear.

Through the car’s windows, she could see that the huge fire was contained in one building, and that it was surrounded by several fire trucks dousing it with water.

On the ground, the people weren’t screaming, nor were they covered in blood. Families huddled together, watching the scene. Paramedics were helping a handful of others who looked to have sustained only minor injuries.

Of course, she was not trapped. She was safe, never at the slightest risk.

And she’d just had a full-blown breakdown and probably completely freaked Ben out.

She turned to him, blinking away the tears that had formed in her eyes.

“Grace,” he said, reaching up and placing a large hand on her shoulder, “what happened? Are you sure you’re okay?”

Despite everything, the weight of his touch sent a shiver through her that she struggled to ignore.

Not that he felt anything in return.

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