Page 102 of Forged in Deception

“They didn’t?”

She shook her head, sadness clouding her face once more.

“No. Everything fell apart. I’d go to visit him, and he’d be drinking. Then he was smoking weed, and probably doing other things, too. He got fired from his job, and he wouldn’t really let me help financially at that point, so I’m not sure how he was surviving. Probably selling drugs along with using them.”

She paused again, and Asher risked scooting toward her, close enough to rest a hand on her shoulder. He could feel her taking a long, slow breath.

“He was living in this shabby old cabin at the time, about forty minutes outside of town. It had solar panels and a well and all the rest of the prepper-waiting-for-the-apocalypse stuff. Clearly, he didn’t want to be near people, but he did let me visit. I tried to get down to Lubbock as often as I could, even just to check on him. One day, I decided to stop by without telling him first. I’d randomly gotten a Friday off when they had to paint my lab.”

Asher rubbed Karlin’s back, dread pooling in his stomach. Several possibilities for where this story was going rose in his mind, and he didn’t like any of them.

“When I pulled into his driveway, I remember knowing immediately that something was wrong. I couldn’t explain why, or how, but I knew. John and I technically aren’t twins, but we’ve always had that sixth sense about one another. So I guess Ishouldn’t have been surprised when I found him on the kitchen floor, surrounded by oxy tablets, but I was.”

Asher’s gut twisted. “Karlin, that’s–”

“You know the funny thing?” she continued. “I actually didn’t panic in that moment. I remember this rush of calm seemed to wash over me. I had cell phone service, thankfully, but the 9-1-1 operator warned me the ambulance would take a while. I put the phone down and started CPR.

“It was only after doing that for a while that I started to freak out a little. I knew that his chances of survival were low, and his chances of surviving without catastrophic brain damage were even lower. My arms were in so much pain. I kept going, long past the point where I thought I had nothing left to give. I kept digging deeper, reaching for one more minute of strength, and then one more second. I don’t know where the strength to keep going came from, but it was there. I felt it. One second at a time.”

Asher wanted to tell her that God was the obvious answer to that question, but he knew it probably wasn’t the best time. Especially considering the fact that God wouldn’t have needed to intervene at all if he hadn't screwed up, gotten Nico killed, and then left John and the rest of their team to face their own trauma without his support.

“How long did you perform CPR?” he asked instead.

“I found out later that it was twenty-six minutes. His chances weren’t good from the start. We don’t know how long he was out before I even got there. But…somehow, he made it. He recovered. The doctors all said it was a miracle.”

Karlin’s words were happy, but she couldn’t hide the sadness in her eyes.

“Just because he survived doesn’t mean it wasn’t a traumatic experience for him. And for you,” Asher ventured.

“So much of my life seems to hinge on that day,” she admitted. “There’s before, and then there’s after. Before, I wasworried about my big brother. But after? It was–it is–like I’m living on edge every moment of my life. Every time the phone rings, I expect the voice on the other end to say he overdosed again. That he’s suffered brain damage. That he’s dead.”

“Like the other day.”

“Exactly. It wasn’t the first overdose since the Big One, either. Does it make me a bad person to say it makes me angry?” Karlin didn’t wait for him to answer. “Maybe. But I can’t help it. It does.”

Asher shook his head. “Dealing with an addict has to be hard. I know you’re doing all you can to help him make sure he has the resources he needs to stay healthy, and that hasn’t exactly been good for you, considering you’ve been stuck working at Senera.”

“That’s true,” she admitted. “But honestly, his faith is the most frustrating part of it all. I know that his belief in God is sincere, so why does he keep screwing up? Why does he make such dumb decisions? If God is real, I just wish He’d hurry up and help my brother.”

Asher wanted to explain why she was wrong, to refute her objections, to act like he had all of the answers, but he didn’t.

For now, he just sent up a silent prayer of thanks. Karlin didn’t have to go through all of her troubles alone.

God had always been there with her, and now he’d be there, too.

KARLIN

Karlin’s words hung in the air, the silence interrupted by the occasional strike of lightning. The wind had died down quite a bit, and the rain had slowed, but the reprieve didn’t feel comforting. The whole valley felt like it had simply paused to take a breath.

“Can I hold you?” Axel asked beside her.

His voice was so gentle, so unlike his usual way of doing things. It melted her heart in an instant.

“You kind of already are,” she pointed out.

He shook his head. “No. I need to really hold you. I…I need you to know.”

She didn’t ask what he meant. She was too afraid to.

---