Page 79 of Forged in Deception

She seemed impossibly far away.

He would have settled for calling her name, but he couldn’t do that, either. He thought he managed to open his mouth a little, but maybe that was only his imagination. It was useless, anyway. No words came.

So instead, he just sat.

He tried to pray, but could barely think of the name of Jesus without feeling confused and exhausted. He could feel that his heart was beating fast. He could hear it in his ears. But other than that, he thought he felt okay. He was breathing.

He just had to focus on breathing.

Time passed.

He wasn’t sure how long it had been. He felt adrift, like there was nothing left pinning him down.

He opened his eyes at one point, not realizing that he had closed them, and he saw something.

Lily was standing up and following Karlin into the night.

The fact made him afraid–heknewhe was afraid–but he didn’t feel it.

It was like God was shouting at him from Heaven itself, but he was too far away to hear anything but a vague whooshing in his ears.

No, surely, that was just his blood making that noise.

Right. That made more sense. It was loud.

So loud.

It reminded him of Afghanistan. It reminded him of the way his ears felt after the bomb that killed Nico went off.

The thought still scared him, even through the haze.

No. He had to focus on what was happening right here, right now. He didn’t have time to go back to the past, to things he couldn’t take back or do over again.

Lily. Karlin. Lily.

There was something he should have mentioned to her earlier. It hadn’t seemed important, but now, it was. It was like the drugs had unlocked something in his brain and it had become totally clear, but he couldn’t get to it.

He tried to force air in and out of his lungs.

Maybe he was just deluding himself. Everything was quiet. The others looked okay, and Karlin would be back in a minute. He had his gun if he needed it. He’d protect them all, and everything would be okay.

He closed his eyes again as gleaming stars and dancing lights played at the edge of his vision.

He just had to keep breathing. He just had to hold on.

CHAPTER

THIRTY-SIX

ASHER

Asher’s tongue felt like it had been permanently glued to the roof of his mouth.

He forced himself to open his eyes, ignoring the pounding of his headache, and pulled himself up into a sitting position on the hard floor. He could see his sleeping mat several feet away, and his screaming back told him he had to have been sleeping for a while. Probably at least a few hours.

As he glanced around the hut, he tried to remember recent events, but it was difficult.

He could, however, figure out that he must have been high on DX8 by mistake.

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