Page 85 of Bound By Lust

My obvious and honest answer is I don’t… but I swallow, ignore the sweat creeping down my neck, and lean forward just slightly, lips curled in a calm, killer smile.

“It’s simple, actually. I don’t think about it. I keep my head in the game and remember I don’t have time for rumors. I’m too busy making history.”

A beat of silence.

Then the room erupts with flashes, applause, laughter, and murmurs of approval.

I rise from the seat, thank the panel, and walk out of the room on jelly legs, though them bastards would never know. I strut out like Amara hunny, because I’mher!

When I finally step outside the doors, I go to take a deep breath, but I realize I’m shaking. Not only that, but my face aches from smiling, my palms are dry from too many handshakes, and my spine is tight from sitting perfectly poised for so damn long.But I held it down.

I made it out with grace!Hell yeah! Go me!When I shut the door, that I see Amara is waiting on the other side.

“Well done,” she beams “That last line will be a headliner for sure.”

“Thank you,” I nod, smiling a bit, cheeks still hurting as Amara watches me like she’s reading something deeper.

“You hungry?” she asks casually before stepping into the elevator with me.

“Starving,” I answer immediately because I am. I haven’t had the nerves to eat much, sitting between Tweedle dee and Tweedle dumb on the plane, let alone from all the nervousness and the excepted yet unexpected rush of the day. I’m tiredandhungry,but I’m glad the hard part is over. Tomorrow, all I need to do is show them what the fuck I can do on the field.

“Good. Then would you like to grab a quick bite with me?”

“I’d love to,” I answer, following her. We end up in a quiet lounge at the far end of the hotel. I can tell by the ambiance that it’s too fancy for most of the players, and too tucked away for the press.

It gives quiet conversation rather than let’s turn up, which I’m sure is what most of the players are doing right now.

She orders for both of us without asking. Not bossy, just efficient, as if she’s always had to lead or be ignored, and I get it. I felt that way until I met Frank. He’s the one who gave me the freedom to be soft.

When the food comes, she doesn’t touch hers. She just stares down at her drink for a moment, then looks up at me, sagging.

“You remind me so much of me,” she smiles, but it’s tired and I blink, grabbing a fork because I can tell this is going to get deep, but babe, I’ma need me some calories. I think I burned more on that panel than I did being three way’d by my man horn, tail and dick…I’m lying, but still!

“Is that a good thing?”

“I always loved football… I used to think I would play and go pro. I did little league and was bullied. I played in middle school and was benched, same in high school.” She rolls her eyes bitterly.

“I feel you on that one.”

“I’m sure you do… I broke records. I could run my ass off, catching was nothing, and talk about reading a field like it was a book written for me,” she boasts and I cut my steak, humming.

“So what happened?”

“Same thing that happens to a lot of us. No space. No funding. No league. No patience for girls who didn’t smile enough. I didn’t fade… I got angry, and that anger turned me into a strategist.”

“Damn… bad ass.” Her eyes lift to mine, burning with excitement.

“I couldn’t be the headline, Jess. So I became the one who builds them.”Whoa…

She leans in, taking up her own fork…

“You’re not just good, Jess. You are rare, and that makes you a targetanda torch. You will carry shit you didn’t ask for. Be criticized for shit you didn’t earn, and their praise will come to feel conditional.

But you hadbetternot flinch. Don’t you shrink yourself. And no matter what, keep your head in the fucking game, because every time you walk out on that field, you’re building a path none of us had. You’re making it easier for the girl who comes next,” she throws my way and I look down at my steak, nodding.

I am her… but to that little Black girl watching me, I’mtheJessica Hurts… the one who made history. I swear I’ll make sure never to forget this.

Never.

---