Page 138 of Quasim III: King Inferno

Cancer.

I finally found the strength to pick myself up from the floor and look into the mirror. My eyes were bloodshot red because I cried constantly. Life wasn’t supposed to be like this for me. I should have been thriving in life. Finding love with the right man and getting married into a tight knit family that would accept me.

His mother would look at me as her own. Then we would have babies, and live happily ever after. He wouldn’t play about me and would die before he put his hands on me. I wouldn’t be reduced to a selfish bitch, like Tookie called me.

I ran my hand through my hair, frustrated with a dream that would never happen. Staring at my hand, my hair rested between my palm and on my fingers. “No, please,” I whimpered with no more fight left in me.

Defeated.

The war was over, and I couldn’t defend myself anymore. I wanted to wave the white flag of life, and I couldn’t because this was life. You didn’t get a pause or rewind button. You were handed shit and had to make do with it. Even with hope being gone, and not having anyone to live for, I wanted to live.

I wanted to ring that bell that taunted me every week.

Love was my happily ever after, but I couldn’t focus on that. I needed to fight, so me and that bell could have our moment at the end of this.

I wouldn’t end up in a grave.

“Wow, mom… the burger tastes better in the restaurant,” Elijah shoved more bottomless fries into his mouth and sucked it down with a prickly lemonade.

I took a few bites of the steak fry and then put it back onto my plate. “Uncomfortable,” Simmy reached over and touched my stomach.

I complained about being uncomfortable before, and I would give anything to go back to when I was that small. The insomnia had faded, but now I couldn’t get comfortable to actually sleep. Quasim went and purchased a massage chair for the room, thinking it would help.

“She’s been too active today… and I don’t want anything.”

“What if she is born today, on my birthday,” Elijah continued to smack on his fries, and I laughed because he kept saying it for weeks.

Today was his birthday and all he wanted to do was come to Red Robins with his parents. How did we get blessed with this little boy? We had been living with Gams since Mina moved into Papa’s condo.

They had been doing the back and forth, but she finally made up her mind to move in with him. Gams was all too thrilled to have us because the house was quiet with just her in it. Augusta Mae sold her home, and Simmy bought her the house across the street from Gams, and then the house further down, which was a vacant lot.

As much as Meer was on us to move onto the compound, we both wanted to be closer to Gams and Augusta Mae. Plus, Simmywas buying every house on the damn block as they came up for sale.

Ashbourne was a place that I would always remember. It was a place where I discovered so many amazing women who had gone through what I had, and some made it to the other side. It was also the first place that I stood up for me and stuck to my guns.

It was a place where I learned my husband was a flawed man with a lot of pain. Pain that he held onto because he didn’t want to weigh me down with his own trauma. Our marriage suffered some in Ashbourne, but it was the place that showed me that love was enough.

Love was enough when it was the right people. It was enough when the two people in the marriage wanted it as much as the other and were willing to fight for it. I saw Quasim in a different light, and while he assumed I saw him as weak, it made me see how strong he was.

How hard he fought to stay with his family.

“Do you think Thea misses me?” Elijah randomly asked, something he did now that he was in therapy.

“I don’t know, baby. Do you think she misses you?”

Thea and Mercer were still sensitive subjects for Simmy. He hated to hear their names and often would tense up whenever their name was mentioned, which wasn’t often. “Nope.”

I touched his hand. “I miss you when you leave us and head to Cappadonna’s house.”

He giggled as I teased him. “Big Capp is showing us how to fish.”

“He don’t even know how to fucking fish,” Quasim snickered as he checked his phone, while still gripping my stomach.

His hand stayed on my stomach, and before bed, he gave my stomach so many kisses. Izayah Rose was so loved, and everyone was waiting on her.

“You know… God uncles call me Prince Inferno. I should really learn how to ride a bike… a dirt bike perhaps?”

“This boy.” Sim laughed.

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