Page 49 of Quasim III: King Inferno

“Always.” He ended the call, and I watched as we finally made it to the Holland tunnel, and it had less traffic than the other, however, there was still traffic. The tunnel went completely dark, so Capri hit her high beams and Syn followed behind her as we merged through the few remaining cars in the tunnel.

Corleon had switched the signs, prohibiting any cars to come through the tunnel, so by the time we rounded around the traffic that accumulated outside the tunnel, we were able to speed right through.

Capri’s name came up on my screen. “We splitting up… Core is sending you something now, go there first.”

“And what about you?”

“I’m heading to do the same… different location. See you in a little bit.”

“Okay… be safe, Capri.”

“Always.”

Soon as we made it out the Holland tunnel, she took off another way while we followed the directions sent to us the opposite way.

Quasim

Recommendation: Listen To Everywhere I am by Jaheim

I looked at my kitchen,and then down at my body. I wore my robe that Cherie got me for my first father’s day. The TV could be heard in the living room, and the faint smell of home cooked food lingered in the air. The lid on the pot was rattling, and I lifted it to see stew beef simmering in the pot. The feeling I felt in my chest was overwhelming. It made me feel warm.

Like home.

The house didn’t feel deserted and cold like it had after I lost Cherie, then Harley. It had come alive again, with bright white lights shining through the windows. The gray cloud of gloom had disappeared and had been replaced with hope. I could hear the sound of laughter coming from the bedroom and confusion washed over me.

Fear crippled my legs as I remained in place, scared to move from where I stood. The throw blanket that Harley usedwas tossed onto the floor in front of the television while her favorite Barbie cartoon played.

With one foot in front of the other, I slowly walked down the hall where the laughter became louder. My mind swirled, and I felt like for a brief second, I was losing my mind. My chest tightened as I stood in front of my daughter’s room. The voice in my head told me to turn the knob, but I remained still, arms at my side. Slowly, I turned the knob and pushed the door opened.

The door had that familiar creak, the one I always told myself I would fix. After Harley left me, it didn’t seem necessary to fix. The creak almost served as a reminder that there used to be life beyond that door.

When I finally pulled my eyes up from the pink carpet, Cherie was tickling Harley. Both stopped when they noticed me and held smiles on their faces.

Her hair.

Harley’s curls fell onto her shoulders, big and vibrant as I remembered before chemo had taken it from her. One side was held back with a butterfly barrette; she looked beautiful, sitting next to her mother.

My chest burned as I looked at my little girl. The one I had yearned to see since the minute she left me behind; the voice I still heard when I closed my eyes. I could even smell the Dreft laundry detergent that I refused to stop using, no matter how much older she became. Switching her detergent would only admit what I wasn’t ready to face.

She was growing up.

“Daddy!” She squeaked and took off running across the room toward me. Her hair bounced, as the white light shined into her bedroom, giving her golden skin a glow. A glow that chemo had robbed her of when she was living on earth.

Her body crashed into mine as I slowly kneeled down and hugged her tightly. I prayed I didn’t hurt her, but this hug was needed. It was all I had dreamed about since losing her. I didn’t want to let go of her.

“Har.” I choked as she pulled back, swiping away the tears that wouldn’t stop falling down my face. Her little dimple deepened while she stared right into my eyes.

“Daddy…I can feel your happiness,” she whispered, kissing me on the cheek, while squeezing me as tightly as she could.

The hospital band remained on her arm. It was the same band that was on her when she passed. I refused to remove it from her body when I buried her. Everything had been taken from me, and I couldn’t hold that cut band in my hand.

The band would serve as the reminder that I didn’t want to remember she was gone. That she would never come back, and I would never see her again. Everything fucking reminded me of my daughter when she left me.

My tears continued to fall down my face. “I could never fully be happy without you, baby.”

She squeezed me a bit tighter. “You want to believe that, but you are. Anjo and my sister make sure of that, Daddy.”

I pulled back and looked at her. “Anjo?”

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