For the first time since I had sat down, he made eye contact with me. His eyes were tired and red from years of alcohol abuse. The bags rested under his eyes, surrounded by wrinkles that showed a harsh life. His light brown irises stood out against the red consuming the scleras that should have been white.

“Already handled that shit. I want to know how you knew.”

He sighed and slid the cup toward the bartender and looked down at his hands. Anywhere except my eyes again. “Frequent this spot in Delaware with a few of my partners. We play dominos, drink and bullshit. Overheard some young cat talking about some shit about the kingdom falls when the king is dead. I ain’t pay that shit any attention until I heard my grandson’s name. Put two and two together and made the mental note to get up with you.”

“And forgot.”

“I got pissy drunk that night and forgot all about that damn conversation. It wasn’t until I saw him pull up to the bar that it hit me. I was scrambling my brain trying to remember everything I heard but couldn’t piece it all together. Didn’t get the shit out fast enough… I blame myself, Quinton. If I would have told him, he would have known and none of this would have gone down.”

“As you should,” my voice was sharp, so sharp that it could have cut the thick air between us. “Even that ain’t enough for you to put down the damn bottle. When is enough e-fucking-nough, O? I’m a grandfather out here, and you still stuck on this shit.”

His shoulders sagged, as he dropped his head, eyes locked on his hands, and the weight of his regrets crushing his frail body. His fingers flexed, and his knuckles were pale, as he squeezed his hands together.

“My life…” his voice was low, barely above a whisper. “It has come and gone… I’ve made my decisions and fixed my bed… I gotta lay in it, not you or your sister. You both turned out better than I ever did. You became the father I should have been to you.”

I never broke my stare at the side of his face. “Not here to sit and hope to make peace, O… I’m here to thank you.”

He was confused as he looked at me. “Thank me?”

“My own brother sold his nephews out because he was jealous. He wanted the life I had, and didn’t give a fuck how he destroyed it, long as I didn’t have it. You could have done worse than not relaying the message you heard.”

“Yeah, well… doesn’t soften the blow and the pain my drinking has caused for you.”

“I’m straight.”

“No, the fuck you’re not… reason you so mean and closed off is because of me. Quinton, you can sit here and tell me you’re healed, but I can see the pain in your face. I put that pain there, and no matter how old you get, that pain will remain because I never fixed it.”

“Yeah. We can’t have everything in life, right?”

He snorted. “You do, though. The wife, kids, and the grandkids… You and Shae did damn better than me.”

I reached into my wallet and peeled off a couple hundred-dollar bills. “Man, take care of yourself… whenever you ready to quit this shit, you know how to find me, O.”

“I know it.” He took the money and shoved it into the front pocket of his shirt.

A shirt I had made for him when I was in seventh grade. It was worn, and had seen better days, but he wore it. “Be easy.”

I squeezed his shoulder and headed out the bar to see my own son. Pop needed to pull through… we needed him.

Blair

Recommendation: Listen to My Angel by Bobby Valentino

Whenever I walkedinto his room, I always felt like my breath was being pulled out of my chest with a vacuum. It was never easy seeing Quasim that way because it never felt real. He was my king, the strength, and the leader within our family. Nothing moved without him, and now he had been reduced to this bed with no signs of life.

I feel like I had lived six different lifetimes since he had been forced into this bed, and we were told to keep praying. At this point, I didn’t consider it praying. I was practically begging God to send my husband back. Every morning, tears filled my eyes as I silently pleaded with him. It wasn’t his time yet.

No matter how much I sobbed and clasped my hands together tighter, he remained in that bed with a machine breathing for him.

The only thing that made me smile was if he knew all the shit I had been getting into. Even the shootout with Kobe and Syn.He probably would have flipped his shit had he known. It was theonlything that caused me to smile.

The doctors told us to keep our spirits up and I was starting to lose hope. Imagine going your entire life never knowing true love, and then finally having it and it slips out of your hands? I was surrounded by nothing but love and support and I still felt lonely.

Our family was split in half, and it was hard being strong when all I wanted to do was break down. Every night, I cried myself to sleep because I was trying to hold it together. When the king was down, it was up to the Queen to protect the kingdom. At least, that’s how it felt for me. It was up to me to stand strong and make decisions.

I’ve never been a leader and always thought I was too weak to be one. I was an emotional mess at times and always was the first to follow behind someone. Never the leader, and it was something I hated about myself. Although things had always been put into place before I married Quasim, out of respect, the Gods looked to me to step into my husband’s place. Like Mina had done before me.

Elijah ran into the room before me and went over toward the side of Simmy’s bed. He put his hand on his chest and then backed away. I was splitting my time between the compound and here, because Elijah needed me, too.