Unbridled.
Even now, she felt a blush stain her cheeks.
So, this is where they’d ended up. Squaring off in Gram’s house. Facing the consequences of what she’d kept secret for two damned decades. She finished her drink, then asked, “What do you want me to do?”
“Tell her the truth.”
“Dawn? You want me to tell Dawn that you’re really her dad? Just like that?” She snapped her fingers. “Don’t you think it might come as kind of a shock?”
“We’ll deal with it,” he said, then clarified. “I’lldeal with it.”
“Oh no, no, no!” she countered. “You can’t leave me out of it. Uh-uh. Besides, Dawn’s just the beginning. We’ll have to tell Joel. He thinks Dawn’s father is completely out of the picture.”
“He’s your ex!”
“And Dawn is still his daughter. For all his faults, Joel is a good dad.”
“He’ll adjust. We all will. Now call her back,” Levi said. “She’s got a pager. Call her. Leave a message and get her back here.” He finally picked up his drink and took a long sip from the glass. “I’ll wait.”
Harper saw her entire world colliding. Right here. Right now. It was happening whether she liked it or not. “Look, let’s be sane about this,” she said and heard him scoff. “We’ve waited almost twenty years. Another day or two won’t make any difference.”
“To you, maybe. But ‘almost twenty years’ is enough. Too many,” he said. “It’s been all of her life. When I think of the things I’ve missed.” His jaw slid to one side, and he gripped his glass so tightly his knuckles showed white.
Oh, give me a break, she thought. Sure, he was having trouble dealing with the fact that he was actually a father. And he blamed her. Okay. Fine. She didn’t fault him for that. But she sure as hell wasn’t about to wallow in what-could-have-beens. Nor was she going to let him bully her into doing anything she didn’t want to do.
“You might consider all of the things you didn’t miss,” she pointed out, thinking of dirty diapers, sleepless nights, bullies in preschool and first grade, and finally the rebellion in Dawn’s teens. “It hasn’t always been a bed of roses. There were tough times with Dawn.”
“And I should’ve been a part of it.”
“But you weren’t, were you? You got to live your life the way you wanted to, with zero responsibility.”
“Not my choice.” He finished his drink and left his glass on the table near the telescope to stare through the window to the gray day beyond. Dusk was falling rapidly, the clouds dark and moody as they scudded across the sky. Two boats were cutting across the water, their running lights visible, wakes trailing after them as they raced eastward toward the town where, she saw, the first streetlights were winking on.
She knew he wasn’t watching the boats. No, she decided, he was a million miles away, rolling back the years in his mind to their senior year when he’d not only lost a brother but also impregnated that brother’s girlfriend.
“We were stupid,” he finally said.
“Just kids.”
He snorted, still had his back to her, his hands buried deep in his jacket pockets. “Stupid kids doing things with major, life-altering consequences.”
She couldn’t argue with that as she turned on several table lamps to chase away the gloom of the coming night. “Isn’t that what all teenagers do? Take chances?”
He didn’t respond.
“Look, Levi, we’ll figure this out,” she said and touched him at the crook of his arm.
He drew away sharply. As if her touch had burned him. When he turned around, his face was set. “Just let her know you want to see her. We can go to Eugene together, or she can come back here.” Then as if the matter was settled, he changed the subject. “You called my office. Said you had some things for me?”
She didn’t think their discussion about Dawn was over. Far from it. But for now, it was time to set it aside, for each of them to cool off.
“Right. I do. Just a sec.” With their argument still echoing in her ears, she hurried up the stairs to the bedroom she’d claimed and found the box that she’d packed with the items belonging to Chase. She took several deep breaths. At least the truth was out. That, she told herself, was the first step. And it was massive.
Just handle this. You can do it.
By the time she returned to the parlor, Levi had poured himself another drink and was downing it. He didn’t appear as tense, as if he, too, had cooled off a bit.
She handed him the box. “This is the stuff I found that I thought you might want. It’s things Chase gave me. I’d forgotten about them, and they all got left here and locked up when Dad and Marcia and I went to California. We left in a hurry.”