Shit!
I forced my eyes to open and found my worst fear come to life. Lying flat under me with my hands wrapped around herneck, was Nancy. Her green eyes were wide with fright, and I could already see the faintest red marks where my fingers touched her skin.
I quickly scrambled off her and landed on my ass on the floor.
She leaned over the edge of the sofa and softly asked, "Are you okay?" but I couldn't find my voice to answer her. All I could do was stare down at my hands.
I wanted to cut them off. To make sure they never harmed another human being again. To make sure they never harmed Nancy again.
"Lex?" She slid off the couch and moved close to me, but it wasn't until she rested her palm against my shoulder that I freaked.
"Don't touch me!" I hollered and slid across the floor on my ass to get as far away from her as I could in the small space. "How can you possibly want to touch me after what I did?" My question was demanding and accusatory.
"Because it's my fault. I never should've touched you while you were sleeping. You told me not to and I did it anyway." Her voice was much calmer than mine.
"Why? Why did you do it?" I was far too emotional to have this conversation, but I couldn't stop. I needed to understand what she was thinking.
"I couldn't take it anymore. You were in agony and I wanted to help."
I dropped my chin to my chest. "As I should. I deserve it after what I did."
Nancy didn't give up. Nor did she stay away from me. Each time I moved, she got closer. We were going in circles on the small floor.
"I don't believe that. No one deserves to be tortured in their sleep night after night."
I lifted my head, and in a hollow voice said, "They do when they kill an innocent woman."
I could see the question in her eyes, so I went on. Maybe after she heard my story, she would leave me alone to suffer in peace like I deserved.
"On our last deployment, my team and I were captured by rebels. They knew we had an informant from their camp, but they didn't know who. The information we were passing back to the United States was considered a national secret. Another team was assisting ours, and we were tasked with keeping the individual safe and providing passage to the States. During one of our recon details, we were captured and tortured. When they couldn't get anything out of us, they brought in people from a nearby village to torture in front of us, but it didn't work."
I felt my Adam's apple bob as I swallowed hard. "As a last-ditch effort, they demanded that I kill a young woman. I begged them not to make me do it, but it was either her or they would start killing my team one by one until I told them who the informant was. I think they honestly thought I would give in. The whole fucked-up situation made no sense, but I couldn't let them kill my friends."
"So you killed her instead," Nancy whispered.
I nodded my head. "Snapped her neck and watched her body fall like it meant nothing to me. The next day we were rescued by Wes and his team."
There was nothing but pity in Nancy's eyes and I wasn't sure which was worse—that or if she feared me. "Don't look at me like that."
"You have to know it's not your fault."
"Why does everyone insist on saying that?" I wanted to scream. Instead, I jumped up and started to pace the small living space. I’d never hated that cramped apartment more than I did right then. "Why can't you all see that it was my fault. Everythingis my fault. My parents’ deaths. The guys killed in combat with me. It's all my fault. I'm cursed."
I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to be out of there. Away from that place, and away from Nancy.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
Nancy
The door slammed behind Lex as he stormed out of the small apartment. I took a deep breath as I climbed off the floor and settled on the lumpy couch.
I wasn't sure what to do. It was obvious Lex wasn't ready to listen to reason. I wasn't sure who he was referring to when he screamed about everyone insisting he was innocent, but apparently he was talking to someone about his nightmares. That was good at least, because after tonight, I doubt he would be talking to me again.
I was still trying to best figure out how to help Lex when a knock on the door caught my attention. I debated ignoring whoever was on the other side, but then thought better of it. Maybe it was just Lex and he was locked out.
"Who is it?"
"Maverick. Lex's boss," a deep voice from the other side of the door answered.