Page 72 of Executive Decision

I panicked.

“Is there anything you need totellme, Daphne?” Mum asked with a sly smile.

“Why?” I wondered.

“I know what the tablets are. They are birth control. Lanie was on them for enough years.”

Lanie was the first to go on the pill before leaving the house. Dahlia only dated girls—even if she wasn’toutyet. I was a late bloomer. Lanie didn’t subscribe to Catholic guilt. She and Mum went round about it for ages before Dad told Mum to back off and Lanie got her pills. I would have stepped in to mail them if need be. The last thing I wanted was for my baby sister to end up pregnant at sixteen.

“I don’t need the guilt, Mum. People are on them for avarietyof reasons.”

“Yes, well, Daphne, I doubt that is what this is.”

I sighed. “Mother, I have a right to privacy?—”

“I know. But I want you to know that… you’re a grown woman. I am not here to judge if you have a man interested in you. All I ask is that I meet him and approve of him before he starts sleeping over.”

“I sincerely doubt that will be a thing, mother,” I protested. “I’m just… prepared.”

“So, there is no man?” Mum looked disappointed.

“There is a man. It’s not a big deal. I don’t want to talk about it. He also owns a place and lives alone, so I don’t see us retreating to my childhood bedroom.”

I suspected the very idea of fucking me in my childhood bedroom would turn Cal off. Or maybe it wouldn’t? Was that a kink for men? I didn’t know. What Ididknow was that I was not going to make Cal do a walk of shame from our house in the morning and risk getting caught on camera.

“Well, if it happened, that’s all I asked. You have a whole wing of the house to yourself and are a grown woman.”

“Yes, I’ve already been sullied by the atrocity of divorce?—”

“Daphne, I don’t think like that,” Mum said. “You always assume I am fanatical. Maybe I was close-minded with you and Davey. You were so young even then. But when Dahlia told us who she was, we realized we didn’t have all the answers. I don’t agree with everything the church does, alright? What worked inourmarriage wouldn’t work in yours. Neither of us was saintly. I took time for so much introspection in your father’s last months. I got therapy, alright? And, darling… I wish you would, too.”

I looked out the window, shaking my head.

“Daphne, I have grown. I know it will take time for you to bloody well believe me. That’s fair, but I’m not here to judge you. Father Tony isn’t, either, sweetheart. You are welcome anytime at mass. I would love for you to go with me.”

I sighed. “Mother, I wasn’t even married in the church. You only want me to do this for you. I cannot take communion?—”

“I am aware,” Mum said. “But it gets lonely.”

“You aren’t lonely.Iam lonely. Church won’t fix that.”

“Sweetheart, I am so lonely. I miss Daddy every day. I come home to a silent house and it feels so awful. I sit in a pew all alone. I know you have lives. And I know this situation doesn’t please you, but… I was hoping maybe I would get to know you again. You’ve changed. I want to know the grown-up Daphne. We were never close. You were your father’s child, but I need you, Daphne.”

She longed to connect. I forgot she could feel isolated. I had only seen her go, go, go after Dad died. Even when I wanted to lie in bed and cry, she was at the gym or seeing friends. But it was all a distraction. She did these things to occupy her time. It validated me to hear she wanted to see me—really see me.

“I will try,” I said. “Look, I know you say it’s chaotic, but I think I feel good enough to duck down to the store. I can make us some dinner, okay?”

“That would be nice,” Mum agreed. “I would like that.”

“And… about therapy,” I said. “You’re right. I do need to see someone. Dahlia and Lanie keep harping on me. They’re right. I didn’t know you were seeing someone. That’s a good thing, I guess. It’s brave, Mum.”

She smiled. “It’s smart, not brave. And as clever as you are, sweetheart, I am sure you will find the right person to talk to soon.”

27THE PROTEST

Cal

“You don’t wantto say anything to your sister?” Mother demanded, harsh.

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