Page 94 of Executive Decision

“But it makes him look bad? How has he managed to cover it up?”

“The election is coming,” Daphne said. “The Tories protect themselves the same as anywhere. Party leadership trades favors and stories to cover it up with the press. Regardless, I’m not a Tory and I don’t give a fuck about their stupid election. If he won’t settle, it’s mine to run with. This is my best attempt at blackmail. If he settles, I won’t leak it. If he lets the cat out of the bag, he could lose it all. I intend to play this game.”

I grinned. “Now,thatis the Daphne Delphine I know. You should. I’m sorry, Daphne. I know how hard that news is to take.”

“I… I don’t want to focus on it. And it’s not like I can do anything to remedy it.”

It hurt watching her twist in pain—like I watched Kristy tormented by the choice years earlier.

“I know you don’t want kids,” Daphne said. “So, I don’t want to get too mushy and freak you out. I’m not looking to force you into anything.”

“That’s not true, Daph,” I protested.

“What isn’t?”

“Ineversaid I didn’t want kids.”

Daphne glanced at Laurie as she held a cord.

“Shit!” I hopped up to secure my laptop charger. “I didn’t say I was ready for parenting. Clearly!”

“No one is when they become parents,” Daphne giggled.

“But you desperately want kids, don’t you?” I asked. “I can tell. Kristy wanted this baby so much?—”

“And you didn’t. That’s my point.”

“No, that wasn’t it.” I lifted the baby, handing her a book to flip through.

“She’s just going to tear the pages out,” Daphne warned.

“God, what can I hand her?”

“Does the diaper bag have a teether?” Daphne asked. “A toy?”

I sorted through it to pull out a little lamb. As I handed it to the baby, she grabbed it and put it immediately in her mouth.

“See, you’re good at this—even on narcotics,” I joked.

“I love kids, but so do you, Cal.”

“I do. And that’s why I wouldn’t rule it out—although, at my age, what is the point?”

“Dad was older than you when Dora was born,” Daphne said. “Stranger things have happened. And Chandler magically got his girlfriend pregnant, so… who knows? Maybe it’s just my luck?”

I took a beat, unsure what to say or how to articulate my feelings.

“Daph, it wasn’t babies. It wasn’t that I didn’t want kids. It was timing—going into the biggest race of my life—and Kristy not wanting to get married. I cannot just pop babies out and not be married—even now. People wouldn’t take kindly to it, Daphne.”

“So, wait? Your main issue was getting married—not babies?”

“Don’t judge. I also think Kristy never could have stood to have me—and only me. She’s free. We’d tried a little bit of nonmonogamy, but once I set my eyes on running, that had to end. Even just that change bothered her. She’s in an open relationship with that artist of hers. And I don’t know… I won’t judge because I love her—as a friend—but it would never work for me. Having a child and still seeing multiple people? No.”

“I couldn’t do it, either, even if that’s what Chandler wanted. He never wanted to fuck me. I wasn’t good enough. I was a cold fish he had to service.”

I furrowed my brow. “You? Nah. Never. He didn’t try, Daph. He never deserved you. You are too good for him, baby.”

She smiled. “I wish I believed you—but knowing he knocked her up hurts so much. I hope this is acting out of strategy and not blind rage.”

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