Page 46 of Matrimonial Merger

“It really is.”

She braced on the elevator railing, groaning.

“See, they are getting worse,” I said, timing the contraction. “That was eight minutes, Daph.”

She glared and straightened up, trying not to tell me that it hurt. I knew it did. She wasn’t a baby about such things. By the time we made it to the hospital in horrible traffic, she finally let on how miserable she was. Making matters worse, we had a parade of press following us. As if this was the delivery of a royal baby, they’d be lying in wait outside for three weeks.

“I will walk inside, but get me a goddamn wheelchair. I feel like my body is falling apart, Cal.”

“Yes, baby,” I said.

It was only a few blocks, but it felt like a great expedition by the time we made it. And as we did, I assumed it would be aquick labor, and the baby would just come out. I couldn’t have been more wrong, of course.

“Four centimeters,” the nurse said. “We’re making progress from your last appointment, though.”

“I want an epiduralnow,” Daphne insisted.

I looked at the nurse. “Sure. I will get the OB to put the order in.”

Daphne got what she wanted. After some verbal abuse and a lot of swearing, Daphne rested quietly on the epidural. She napped, but I couldn’t rest. I worried too much about everything that could go wrong. She’d been having contractions for twelve hours, but now they were ratcheting up. With the help of Pitocin, she moved along. It took around twenty hours total, but in the dark of night, Daphne was ready to push. There was no time to panic now. There was no turning back.

Once more, I didn’t know what to expect. I thought, like in the movies, the baby would emerge after a few quick pushes. Instead, the reality was brutal. Daphne screamed, vomited, and sobbed with every push.

“When does it get better?” I panicked, asking a nurse as I placed another washcloth on Daphnes’s brow.

“When the baby comes out,” the nurse said, as if I were an idiot. “And she will.”

“Cal, stop panicking. It’s…” Daphne growled through another contraction. “It’s not helpful.”

“Okay, but this feels like a Hobbesian state of nature you’re being put through.”

“Cal, please don’t go philosophical, for fuck’s sake!” Daphne said. “I’m dying here.”

“You’re dying?”

“It’s fine,” the nurse holding Daphne’s other leg said. “You’re doing everything you need to do, Daphne.”

I wanted to take her pain away. She was so miserable, even with the epidural. I expected it to cut all of the issues. Instead, she shook, sweated, and screamed.

“Daphne, on the next push, I want you to think about climbing a rope,” the OB said.

“A rope?” Daphne panted. “Why?”

“It’s just a visualization. Just climb it in your mind. Push with everything you have.”

“It feels like my body is ripping in two!” Daphne sobbed.

“The epidural is wearing off, but the baby isright here,” a nurse by the doctor’s shoulder said.

“Daph, you are so strong.”

“I don’t know how Mummy did this six fucking times.”

“You’re tough—you all are,” I assured. “And you can?—”

I didn’t finish. She bore down again, pushing against my hand harder than before.

“Motherfucking fuck!” Daphne screamed. “Fuck, fuck, fuck.”

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