What actually happens?

She shifts. Right. Back. Into my dick. And my entire fucking brain, Short circuits. Loudly. I make a sound. A sound that should not exist. A sound that no self-respecting man should ever make in his life.

Something between a gasp and a choke and a high-pitched, strangled “Hhhngh, ” that immediately guarantees I will never know peace again.

Luna freezes.

Lucien reins in his horse so abruptly that it nearly rears, and he whips around to glare at me like I just committed an unforgivable sin against decency itself.

“What,” he says, voice flat, cold, “was that?”

I can’t answer.

Because my brain is still a smoldering wasteland of error messages and shame.

Luna slowly turns her head, staring at me with a look I can only describe as unholy levels of judgment.

And then, with zero mercy, she deadpans, “Did you just moan?”

I die instantly.

I try to salvage this.

I do.

“What? No. That was, ” I force a laugh, way too loud, way too forced. “That was just uh, battle instincts.”

Luna squints. “Battle instincts?”

“Yeah! You know. It’s a.. uh ” I gesture vaguely at the air like that will somehow help. “A reaction thing. Normal. Completely normal.”

Luna does not look convinced. I double down.

“It’s like, when you’re in a high-stakes combat scenario,” I say, trying to sound extremely competent and manly, “your body just reacts. No time to think. Just pure, instinctual, ”

Luna raises a single brow. “Instinctual whimpering?”

I panic.

“No, no, see, what you don’t understand,” I say, lying through my teeth, “is that it’s actually a tactical maneuver.”

Luna stares.

I forge ahead like the reckless idiot I am.

“Because, see, if we were under attack, right?” I lean in slightly, voice dropping, trying to sell this absolute garbage. “And I made that sound?”

Luna crosses her arms. “That sound.”

I nod solemnly. “That sound.”

I press on.

“The enemy would hesitate. Instantly.” I snap my fingers for emphasis. “Because nobody is prepared for that kind of raw, unexpected emotional warfare.”

There is a horrifically long pause.

Then Luna, completely straight-faced, says, “So what you’re telling me… is that if we get into a fight, you plan to seduce them to death?”

I grin. “It’s effective.”

Luna sighs slowly and suffering. “Gods, I miss Silas.”

I slap a hand over my chest. “Ouch.”

Lucien yanks his reins and takes off at a gallop like he physically cannot be near me for one more second. And I, a winner in every conceivable way, ride after him, forever cemented as the dumbest bastard in the Hollow.