Page 34 of Christmas In Love

“Thanks.”

Beth nodded, then made for the door. Natalie was almost to the kitchen when the bell above the door jingled.

“Oh, hi.”

Natalie groaned inwardly at Beth’s voice. Could she make it to her room without having to interact with Cade? She took a step.

“Hi… Beth, right?” The door was only feet in front of her—if she could get there.

A giggle. Then, “Yeah.” It would seem Beth was as affected by Cade as she was.

She stepped closer to the door, her fingers crossing beneath the heavy coat slung over her arm.

“Hey, Nat? Can I have a sec?”

Natalie froze. Caught.

“Bye.”

“Bye, Beth.”

The door jingled again, and footsteps sounded behind Natalie. They were slow and deliberate and gave Natalie plenty of time to walk away if she wanted to.

But some part of her—a growing part—didn’t want to. She hadn’t enjoyed walking away from him outside. She didn’t have the strength to do it again.

Somehow, without her even realizing it, Cade had broken through her defenses.

He stopped behind her, waiting.

And, as if he were a magnet, she turned around.

His expression was guarded. But he’d followed her even after what she’d said outside. When he spoke, his voice was low, uncertain.

“I’m not asking you to tell me everything—I won’t. Not now. Not ever, if you don’t want to.” His eyes narrowed slightly as if searching for the truth she’d long ago buried. “But know that youcantalk to me, Nat. You can always talk to me. I promise not to push you… but I’ll be here waiting when you’re ready.”

Then, with a touch so light she might have imagined it except for the heat it left, he bent and grazed her cheek with his lips.

After a lingering look, he turned and walked up the stairs.

She barely made it into her room before the tears started falling. With shaking hands, she closed the door and slid against it to the floor.

Why did he have to come back when she was finally settling into this life? Why did he have to come back and show her everything she was missing? Make her fall for him just as hard as before?

All her defenses were crumbling. They were essentially rubble at this point. The thought that he couldn’t want her if he knew the truth tumbled to the floor. Next to it fell the time her mom had taken Natalie’s face in her hands and reassured her she’d done the right thing in breaking up with Cade. “Men don’t want broken women. You have to leave them before they leave you.” Her mom certainly knew how to do that well.

Even the long-ago conversation with Cade that had sealed her determination to end things was crumbling. Because she’d seen the look in his eyes tonight. She’d heard him say he wanted a future.

Her arms wrapped around her middle as she folded in half. Salty tears spilled over her cheeks.

She wanted to tell him everything, but she wasn’t brave enough. Deep down she knew that, no matter how important he said she was, his desire to have a family was just as important. To have his own children.

And Natalie couldn’t do that.

She dropped her head to her knees, tears falling onto the wooden floor. It was beaten up—scratched and worn down from years of wear. She focused on that. Traced the ruts and knots with her eyes even as tears continued to plunk to the ground. She was like the wood. Worn down from years of trying to fight against the emotional damage her parents had inflicted on her. Scratched from the hand life had dealt.

It wasn’t fair. Wasn’t fair for life to show her what could have been. Because it wasn’t possible.

Natalie physically could nothavekids, and even if it weren’t for all her other emotional issues, she wouldn’t make Cade choose between her and kids of his own.

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