Page 61 of The Dangers of Daydreaming

“It’s all my grandparents play. You know: bridge, pinochle, bunco, and the like. The kinds of games played after a quilting circle or a barn raising.”

His grandparents laughed.

“I could go for a rousing game of pinochle. There are four of us, so it’s perfect. We’ll just need to hunt down some cards. Let me ask a nurse if they have any around.” Gram came to her feet.

“Don’t get up, dear, I can call them in,” Mr. Harrison said, pulling his wife back down to her comfy chair.

The nurses were nice enough to find us two decks of cards, and after a quick explanation of the rules, we played several rounds. Mr. Harrison and I partnered for an impressive win, but Gram and Finn had us beat the three other times.

At the end of the visit, Mr. Harrison kissed Gram on the cheek, told me to come back soon, and shook Finn’s hand in a way that seemed more like a hug than a handshake.

Driving home, I learned that Gram was originally “Graham” for graham cracker because Finn was only ever allowed s'mores when he visited with them, that Finn was just as mischievous at home as he’d been at school, and that Gram was still thinking they needed to sell, though Finn quickly derailed that topic.

Finn dropped Gram and me at the front of the B&B before heading back to his little house with a quip about how if I got hungry to give him a call.

I shook my head, laughing.

“Thank you for spending time with him this week, Lucy,” Gram said to me as we stood on the porch.

I lookeda question at her. “I enjoy it. He’s not at all the little twerp I thought he was in junior high.”

“Oh, he still is a little, it just adds to his charm.”

I smiled at that.

The sounds of night were coming out. Crickets and ocean waves. It was enough to keep me outside, even if I hadn’t been enjoying the conversation.

Gram looked out at where we could see Finn ducking into his house. “I worry about him when we sell this place.”

“So, it's a ‘when’ and not an ‘if?’”

She dipped her chin. “Yes. We’ve been thinking about it for some time, and now with the hospital bills and the long recovery, it’s just too much to have on our plate. I’ve considered asking Finn if he’d like to take over, but…” She sighed. “I think he’d do it.”

My brows pulled together. “What?”

“If I asked, he’d take over in a heartbeat. But I don’t think it’s what he wants for his life, or what’s right for him. I feel a bit like a mother bird that needs to push him from the nest.”

I watched Finn’s now-empty little porch with her. A light flicked on inside, giving the front windows an orange glow.

In that moment, Gram reminded me a bit of my Grandma Sue when she got to talking about my cousin Kaden, like there was no off-switch. Not that I minded with Gram like I did with my do-no-wrong cousin. I had this sneaky desire to know more about Finn. To know everything, even.

“But he was applying to medical schools, and then James mentioned during his last visit before graduation that things were getting to be more than we could do on our own, and next thing we knew, Finn was there and telling us to put him to work. Insisting it was what he wanted to do. Sometimes I think we were a little selfish accepting his help—Idon’t think either of us realized how much we’d miss him when he left for school, and we were just glad to have him back.”

“You love him,” I said. “You wanted him around. And I doubt he would have listened if you told him not to stay.”

Gram gave a little laugh. “You’re right.” Her eyes captured mine at the same time her soft, wrinkled hand did. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but… will you help him? When Pops is home next week, we’re going to tell him we’re selling. I think it would really help if you were there with him as he thinks through his next steps—he’s never really liked to think about the future much. Not after everything with his dad.”

That made a lot of sense. Finn’s dad ending up in jail had completely blindsided him, as it would anyone. And I’d seen how Finn didn’t like to plan ahead, and how he seemed to live in the moment in a way that was more than just enjoying himself. It was as if he didn’t want to face the future at all. Maybe it was a defense mechanism from his life being derailed as a preteen. Still, it was one of the things that concerned me about my growing feelings—I couldn’t be in a one-sided relationship, where I was the only one planning for, or even thinking about, our future. My mouth turned down, and I met Gram’s eyes. “I would love to—really, I would. But… I’ll be gone by then. Back in the States.” It suddenly felt like there was a weight on my chest.

She nodded. “I know, but… still? You’ll keep in contact, won’t you?”

Would we? I think I’d like to. “Yes. Okay,” I found myself saying. “I don’t know that I’ll be much help, but I’ll try.” I wanted to, anyway. I could just see the way his hands clenched on the steering wheel when he talked about the change and the way his jaw worked when he tried not to think about it—I wanted to be there to help him think through that, like he’d helped me work through my feelings after my mom texted me photos of wedding dresses. Even if we weren’t ever more than friends.

But after making the promise to Gram and then parting ways at the foot of the staircase, my mind wouldn’t turn off. Thinking about Finn inevitably turned to thinking about the date he wanted me to go on. But I’d just been reminded very specifically about why getting involved wouldn’t be a good idea. I realized something else, too. If we went on a date and things got weird, I wouldn’t be able to be there to help him at all. I’d just be a failed fling on some random June evening.

Better Than Therapy

Lucy: I need advice. I’m supposed to be here for work, but Finn wants me to go on a date with him. He’s cute and fun, and I’m having a little too good a time getting to know this version of him… but I’m not sure it’s the best idea. Someone be my voice of reason?

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