Page 69 of The Dangers of Daydreaming

There were about eight inches of space between us. I was greedy to close that space, but wouldn’t force it. Instead, I pulled my arm up to add cushion to my head, and turned a bit her way.

“I need to tell you something,” I said.

“That’s tantamount to ‘we need to talk,’ but we aren’t even officially dating, so I’m hoping I don’t have anything to stress over from it.”

I gave her a stiff smile; hopefully after I revealed my big dark secret, she’d still be interested in me. In a second date. A third and fourth.

Because my mind had started making plans. Me. Finn Harrison, king of living in the moment, was making plans that included the beautiful redhead next to me.

“I haven’t told anyone this. In two years. I always planned to say something, but now I’m worried it’s been too long and…” I took a deep breath, forcing my eyes to stay on her face and steeling myself against her reaction. “I didn’t actually graduate college.”

A divet appeared between her brows. “But… biochemistry.”

“I tripped at the finish line. Didn’t take two finals and missed a final project… made for one four-credit class short of graduation.”

She blinked, taking in the information. “And your family doesn’t know?”

I shook my head. “Nope.” I felt like I was watching her through a squint. Just waiting for her to realize exactly what this meant. The extent of the lie.

She lifted one shoulder. “That’s kinda a big deal, but… A couple of tests? A project? That doesn’t negate all the work you put into the four years before.”

That wasnice of her, but didn’t show the whole picture. “My grandparents, though. I’ve been lying to them for years. They tell everyone about my college degree. You saw how proud they were.”

“Again, they are proud of you and your hard work. Not the piece of paper you got.”

I let that sink in for a minute. It rang true, but I was so against the understanding I’d developed of myself that I didn’t know if I could agree.

“Could you go back and finish if you wanted?”

I nodded. Slowly.

“Do you want to?”

I met her eyes, my jaw set. “I don’t know. To be totally honest, Lucy, I hate the future. I hate the uncertainty of it, and I don’t like to make plans.”

“Yeah, I know.” She gave a small smile. “Some things are worth going out of your comfort zone for.”

Despite the lack of cold, I sat up, rubbing my hand up and down my bicep. “Do you think less of me now?”

She sat up too and frowned. “No, of course not. But I do think you should tell your grandparents.”

I pushed out a long breath. “Yeah. I will. I guess I just haven’t wanted to face it.”

“Why did you miss the finals? The project?”

That was the million-dollar question. “My dad,” I said quietly. “He was supposed to come for graduation, and I’d…” I scoffed at myself just remembering. “I’d gotten excited for the first time in… well, in a while. I had all these plans for us. And then he called—no, texted—to say he had something come up, and he couldn’t make it.”

“To your graduation?” She sounded incredulous. It was actually pretty nice to hear how shocked that made her.

“Yeah. Classic dad for you. It felt like… Why had I tried all this time to stick it to him, just for him to not even see the work I’d done and how far I’d come? I know it sounds super petty, but at the time, it put me into a bit of a tailspin. I was already so overwhelmed with the higher-level end-of-term projects and tests, and I guess it was the straw that broke the camel’s back. I’m still pretty shocked that it was bad enough to make me miss the finals, though. And I’d almost finished the project. If I could have forced myself to do a little more or even turn it in unfinished, I wouldn’t be in this position.”

She grabbed my clasped hands. “Mental health doesn’t really listen to reason or logic. I’m sorry. You’ve… you’ve gone through a lot.”

I let out a short laugh. Not a very humorous one. “You’re being too nice. I thought you’d hate me for lying.”

“Nope.” She shook her head. “Anything else you need to get off your chest, though?” Her voice dropped to a whisper. “Did you really steal all that food?”

An actual laugh burst from me. “No. I paid for the food. And I think this is the only skeleton in my closet unless you count the fact that I was a little twerp to this cute girl back in junior high.”

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