Page 71 of Dancing With Death

“Audrey?” Brenden sounds worried, and I hate that I’m the one who caused it.

I also don’t know what to say to make it go away. They don’t want to hear what’s floating around in my head. They don’t need to know I’m doubting the entire relationship. None of them have done anything wrong. It’s not their fault I feel this way, and I don’t want to burden them with any of it.

I lay my head on my knees, turning away from them as tears continue to course down my cheeks.

Now that they’ve escaped, I have no hope of stopping them.

“Pretty girl, what’s wrong?” Suddenly, Donovan is kneeling in front of me, and I never heard him move.

When I don’t turn my head to meet his gaze, he leans over into my field of vision, forcing me to look at him. His face falls as soon as he sees my tears.

“What can we do?” he asks, nuzzling into me.

I sigh. “Nothing. There’s nothing anyone can do.”

“I don’t understand,” Wraith says as he joins Donovan, though he remains standing.

“Of course you don’t. How can you?” I scoff, burying my face in my knees and wishing they would leave me to cry in peace.

Someone settles onto the swing beside me, but I don’t look up to see who. Not that I need to see him to know it’s Brenden as he wraps his arm around me.

I know they’re all waiting for me to explain, but I can’t tell them. I’m supposed to be the linchpin holding all of us together. I’m not supposed to have doubts.

Brenden sighs as he scoots me closer until our sides are flush. “Talk to us, Audrey. We can’t make it better if you don’t tell us what’s wrong.”

“Did you not understand when I said there was nothing you could do?” I ask with a harsh laugh. “Clearly, there’s nothing anyone can do. We just need to accept the way things are and move on with our lives, but I don’t want to.”

My laughter turns into sobs as they stare at me blankly.

Cassian steps forward, reaching for me, but Wraith knocks his hand to the side.

“What the fuck, Wraith?” Cassian’s words practically come out as a growl.

“This. This is what I’m talking about.” I shake my head, hysteria slowly building inside me. “The two of you can’t stop swiping at each other. Eventually, one of you is going to snap and then everything we’ve been building is going to be gone. Finished. I don’t know why I thought I could fight fate.”

Cassian and Wraith jerk back, looking like I slapped them as they stare down at me.

Wraith’s voice is tense as he speaks. “We’re doing the best we can, trouble.”

“And I know that. You’re both so strong and determined, but you can’t make it stop.” I chew on my lip as I force my eyes away from them. “Why are we delaying the inevitable here? Aren’t we just making it worse by waiting?”

“Please don’t tell me you’re talking about me,” Cassian begs me, dropping to his knees beside Donovan. “Please tell me you’re not giving up on us.”

I shrug, shaking my head from side to side. “I can’t because I don’t see any way around it. I couldn’t focus on the movie inside because I was worried about the tension between the two of you. All I do is wait and worry about the next fight. Not knowing if it’ll be the straw that breaks the camel’s back. I can’t sleep. All I do is stress out, and it’s too much.”

My gaze meets Cassian’s, and when I see the tears collecting there, I throw myself into his arms.

“I don’t want to lose you. It’ll break me irreparably, but I feel like I’m looking down the barrel of a loaded shotgun. I love you so much, Cass. So fucking much that all I want to do is cry every time I think of not having you by my side.” I don’t even know if he can understand half of what I’m saying as I sob into his neck. “But we can’t fix this. Without Nex, everything is going to be against us.”

“I love you, too, little mate. I’m sorry this is causing you so much pain, but I’m never giving you up. We’ll just have to figure something out.”

“We need to get Nex on board,” Wraith says, determination in his voice.

Brenden scoffs. “After the shit he said, you still want him to be a part of this? Fuck that guy.”

Even I can hear the pain he’s trying to hide. It’s my fault it’s there, and I hate it.

There’s a small part of me that wonders if they’d be better off if they hadn’t met me.

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