Page 92 of Beautiful Broken Love

“Deeperhow?” I asked to entertain her.

“Davina, be real. If you were only in it for the sex, you wouldn’t have been so upset about the Giselle thing. It wouldn’t have mattered what she said if you were only in it for the D.”

“I don’t believe that. There may be no strings attached, but I still expect a little respect. This is probably just a phase for him, Tish. Like he said, we can have this weekend to get it out of our systems and then we can move on.” I waved a dismissive hand. “No point in prolonging the inevitable.”

“And what, pray tell, is the inevitable?”

“What we have, Tish. This thing between me and Deke has only ever been physical. It’ll never reach a level deeper than that for us, and frankly, I’m fine with that because I don’t want more. Yes, I want to live my life, but settling down and falling for someone again is not in the plans. I just ... I don’t think I can do that to myself again.”

Suddenly, all I could think about was Lewis. He had my all. I invested so much into our relationship and gave him every ounce of love I had.

I wasn’t sure I had it in me to give it to another ... or maybe I was just too much of a chicken to find out if it was possible.

FORTY-EIGHT

DAVINA

I adjusted my visor mirror, catching the reflection of my eyes. They were rimmed with dark mascara and only a light swoop of black eyeliner.

My hair was in tight coils that shaped my face, my brows freshly plucked. The sky was thick with clouds, an attempt to block the sun’s radiant shine. Birds flew past, dipping and bobbing.

I glanced at the packed bag on my passenger seat, the bag I’d taken my time to pack that morning, ruminating between the idea of abandoning it or packing extra clothes just in case. The teal straps of one of my tank tops stuck out, and I tucked it into place before starting my car and pulling out of the driveway.

When Tish and I had discussed more about my weekend with Deke, I kept telling her how I needed to be working anyway and couldn’t go to the lake house. She wasn’t having it, though. She knew they were all excuses for me to not be with Deke.

“I’ll have all of that covered,” Tish had said as she replaced my tea with a glass of chardonnay. “If you don’t go, you might not get the chance again later.”

For some reason, her words struck fear in my heart, as if not getting to be solo with Deke again was a loss my body couldn’t handle. Thosewords stuck to me like glue as I lay in bed, restless, reading the email he’d sent with the address of the lake house.

I filled my gas tank, then took the freeway, chewing on the inside of my cheek until it was raw. I spotted the sign for Graham County, and my heart thundered in my chest as I made a turn onto an unmarked road and drove until I spotted a cottage in the distance.

The cottage was enveloped in sweet gum trees with saffron-and-gold leaves. A few pine trees and red maples blended in, the reds of the maples standing out boldly beneath the remaining sunlight.

It would be dark soon, and I was glad I left when I did, because the view was spectacular already. Itscreamedautumn, and I could feel a persuading breeze sneaking through my cracked window.

I turned into the driveway and killed the engine, staring at the oversize lake house ahead of me. The exterior was made of wood beams and panels, had a wraparound porch with cable railing, and was furnished with a combination of cushioned seats and rocking chairs.

I spotted the familiar black Ferrari parked close to the cottage and gleaming in the light. I closed my eyes for a second, taking a quick breath before opening them again and climbing out of my car, with my purse and overnight bag.

As I clutched my keys in hand, I smelled the salt of the lake, the sweet stickiness of the maple trees, and the muskiness of the damp, earthy soil.

It was in this moment that I felt I was no longer controlling my body. My mind took the back seat as I put one foot in front of the other, and the gravel crunched beneath my Air Maxes.

I walked along the wooden porch until I found the front door. It was painted black, which was a nice contrast to all the wood. I pressed the doorbell with my thumb as my pulse rattled in my ears, and my hands grew slick with sweat. I had the entry code, but I didn’t have the courage to just walk right in. Deke and I weren’t there yet ...were we?

Footsteps sounded on the other side of the door, then a curtain near the window shifted so someone could peek out. Just as quickly, the locks of the door clinked, and it swung open.

My breathing slowed—as well as my heart—when I looked into Deke’s deep-brown eyes. He was shirtless, wearing only a pair of gray basketball shorts that did nothing to hide his bulging print.

His chest was a delicious, satiny brown, and I studied every single detail of him in what was left of the daylight. The sharp collarbones followed by the pecs below them. His dark-brown nipples and how they were positioned perfectly on his chest. The six-pack of muscles on his abdomen leading to a carved V hidden beneath the thin material of his shorts.

He smelled like men’s bodywash—a sensual, warm, earthy scent—along with a subtle hint of cocoa butter.

When I found his eyes again, he smiled a little, as if he had to take caution—like if he smiled too hard, he might risk me walking away. But I wasn’t walking away. I was here, and as it digested, I realized there was no going back.

And perhaps that’s why my heart was beating so chaotically and why I was so afraid to come here in the first place. Because deep down, I knew this weekend was going to either push us closer together or tear us apart, and I didn’t want it to come to either of those outcomes. I just wanted us to exist in the same world and breathe the same air.

I wanted us to justbe.

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