Page 53 of Coast to Coast

She nodded, blowing on her hot tea and taking a tentative sip. “I’ll take care of him.”

Fuck. My gaze dropped down to my hands, both clenched with the stress. “I know you will. And his mother and stepfather also are great. It doesn’t make me want to be with him less. It just makes me feel like a shitbag.”

“You know how lucky he is, right?”

“No. Honestly, I wonder every day if I’m the selfish idiot.”

Callie put her teacup down and moved in front of me, wrapping her hands around my middle, her head resting on my chest. I dropped my chin to the top of her head, breathing deep, inhaling the scent of her shampoo and getting a whiff of the faintscent of apples. We stayed there silently for a bit longer before Callie untangled herself from my arms and headed to bed.

“Night, Calliope,” I said.

“Goodnight, Tom.”

CALLIOPE

Crew cried in my arms for at least twenty minutes as we sat in the airport lounge. How did parents do it? How did they manage to console their children when they felt just as bad?

I noticed my tears had dampened his downy, little boy hair and snuggled him, drawing as much comfort from him as I provided.

I texted Tom once we had successfully passed security and then focused on consoling and distracting Crew in equal measure. I planned to save the tablet and TV shows for while we were on the plane, but it wasn’t long before he was tired of the puzzles and books I had brought. By the time we were able to board, I was exhausted, though I doubted I would be able to rest on the flight.

I texted both Tom and Kelsey once we had safely boarded the flight, knowing that one was excited about our return while the other was dreading our departure. And Crew? He was stuck right in the middle of it all. Thankfully, he behaved on the flight and was excited to see his mother and Sam once we landed.

Maybe that was the bright spot? He could put a bandaid on the hurt he felt leaving his father with his excitement to see his mother.

Kelsey and Sam were both at the airport when we landed, and they took turns hugging Crew before we collected our luggage and headed to their home. I let them catch up with their son and excused myself to head to my room.

My bedroom was on the third floor, so I had a good amount of privacy and access to their rooftop patio. They had been clear that I was off for the next few days; I wasn’t expected to do more than travel with him this round.

Me to Monica: Do you have time to meet for a drink tonight?

Monica: Sure! I can’t wait to hear all about the first rotation.

I sent her the location of a brewery I wanted to try, and we planned to meet at seven. I took a shower, feeling the need to wash off the airport grime before leaving for the night. I had a car, but I had left it at my parents’ house in Concord instead of leaving it in the city while I was gone. Instead of picking it up, I ordered an Uber to bring me to meet Monica.

“Hey,” Kelsey said as I walked through the kitchen on my way to wait for my ride. “I know I didn’t really get to talk to you when you got back, but I hope everything went well for the first trip?”

“Yeah, we had settled into a routine by the time we left.”

“I know. This is disruptive to everyone,” she said, looking to where Sam and Crew played together in the family room. What are your plans tonight?”

“I’m meeting Monica for drinks to catch up.”

“Oh, good! I always worry that she never takes time for herself. She’s been a godsend to us, and we’ve called on her more than a few times in the middle of the night. She never says no.”

“She never will say no. And I’m not saying that to make you feel bad. She loves every second of it. She especially likes to be the one who solves what seems like an impossible problem.”

“We’ve tested her over the last year and a half. But she’s been with Sam for a lot longer. But go, take advantage of your time off. I’m sure you’ve earned it.”

I waved to Sam, and Crew ran over to hug me goodbye. “Song tonight?” he asked.

I looked over at Kelsey for assistance. “Not tonight, Crew. We have a movie night with Pops.”

“No game?”

“Not tonight. It’s just us.”

It was then that I noticed the Uber waiting out front for me and took the opportunity to slip out the door. Other than the texts I sent Tom letting him know we had landed safely, I hadn’t really talked to him. That didn’t sit well with me. After spending the last week plus with him in his home, I didn’t like the distance. And the time off felt almost unsettling.

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