Page 70 of Coast to Coast

Butterflies.

I wasn’t sure if they were related to performance anxiety or what I felt looking at Tom. I had begun to dread going back to Boston, a place that had always been my home, because it meant leaving him behind. Spending time with Mariana, we talked more about what I could expect from the season. I wasn’t looking forward to it.

I’d already done my fair share of yearning for Tom, and it was only just the beginning.

Tom snuck into my room while his mom was putting Crew to bed, sneaking up behind me, his wide hands bracketing my hips. I dipped my head, giving him access to my neck as he tickled my neck, goosebumps erupting over my entire body.

I turned in his arms to face him, his beautiful face, soft blue eyes full of wonder as I cupped his jaw in my hands, searching his eyes for evidence that he and I were emotionally on equal footing.

“Tom?” I whispered, emotion making it difficult to speak. “Is this real?”

“Yeah, Callie. It’s real, so fucking real,” he said before capturing my mouth. He pulled away, and we both were greedyfor more without the time to indulge. “Later. We’ve got to get going.”

I nodded quickly, running my fingers through my long curls.

“I love your hair like that,” Tom said, staring longingly at my hair, reaching out and wrapping a curl around his index finger.

“Are you sure you’re not just picturing it spread across your lap, me on my knees?” I asked, unable to pass up the opportunity to tease him. I grabbed a light jacket and my guitar, which Tom tried to take from me.

“No, I got this. You can grab the rest of the equipment.”

Tom’s eyes bugged out as he noticed what I meant by the rest of the equipment. Yeah, the guitar is the lightest piece. “Do you always need to bring all this with you?”

“Yeah? You think this is a lot?”

“I thought they had everything set up in advance. I guess that shows my ignorance.”

Tom made two trips to his truck while I slipped my guitar into the back seat of his truck next to Crew’s car seat.

“Who is coming tonight?” I asked nervously.

“Andre, Mila, Vasil, Bridget, Charlie, Gwen, Alex and Mariana, Jonah, maybe Britney, and we’re trying to get Damon out. But Britney is, well, Britney, and Damon is wallowing.”

“I tried to reach out to Kayleigh, but she never responded,” I said as Tom started the car and backed out of the driveway. “I wasn’t sure if I was over-stepping, but I was shocked that things went bad with them so fast.”

“The same thing happened last season. He was a wreck and was finally getting his shit together when he went home for the summer. Kayleigh cut everyone off then, too, even Mariana.”

“It seemed like she was so close with everyone at the cookout. I don’t get how she can walk away from everyone.”

Tom shrugged, “I can’t spend time worrying about what happened. Just hoping he can shake it off when we’re on the ice during our shift.”

“Someday, you’ll need to teach me what that means. I tried to research it, and I only understood the goalie’s job.” I shrugged, and Tom smiled.

“Don’t worry, my mom was at the rink four to six days a week and still couldn’t explain it to you beyond the basics. She loves to watch.”

We pulled up in front of the bar, my stomach flipping with nerves. He reached out, taking my hand and pulling me in for a kiss. “You got this.”

“How’d you know I was nervous?” I asked.

“You’ve been tapping your leg since we pulled off my street, and I’m surprised you haven’t worn a hole in your jeans from rubbing your thighs.”

I inhaled deeply, taking a long, calming breath. “Sorry, it’s always better once I get up there. Once I start to play, everything flows from there. Sometimes, it feels like my performance is over in a blink.”

“Some games are like that, too. It’s called flow state.”

“What?” I asked.

“Flow state is when you’re so fully present and in the moment that everything flows. There are games when everything works when we’re all in the zone. Runners will explain it as when everything clicks, their breath, their body, it all works together so they can run faster and go further. The high from that one run will push them through weeks of shitty, painful training runs.”

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