Page 25 of The Bratva's Captive

Pregnant.

The neighbor’s baby wailed right then, as if on cue, and I flinched at the increase of noise in the background and dropped the test stick. His cries snapped me into action, reminding me that I had no free time to freak out like this. Not now. Not here.

I was already running late to get to Stanley’s for a long night of dancing.

But I wouldn’t be up on the stage alone. I’d be dancing with a new life in my womb.

Pregnant?

I stooped to grab the pregnancy test off the floor, but I couldn’t look at it anymore. Instead, I yanked a drawer to the bathroom vanity open and tossed it in there. It was too bad thatout of sight, out of mindcouldn’t work so well. No longer looking at that stick that told me I’d be a mother, I should’ve been able to force a fake calmness on myself. To ignore it and not even think. To move, like always, on autopilot to get my ass to work and deal with life.

But I couldn’t shut off this concept of how drastically my life would change.

It ate at me, preoccupying all my thoughts as I left my apartment and locked the door. It gnawed on my frayed nerves as I walked through the city to get to the club. And when I arrived in the midst of the other dancers getting dressed or doing their hair and makeup, the fact that I was having a baby threatened to make me pass out.

Of all days, today was a crappy one to miss out on a meal, but I ran out of cash. It became a debate of paying to keep my air conditioning on or getting more groceries. Since I could always drink water to dupe myself into feeling full, I opted for making my apartment cooler than the usual high nineties it was without the air unit on.

Dizzy and nauseous from the shock that I was pregnant, I kept my head down until I could slump into a free chair at one of the dressing tables. Since Nevaeh screwed me over and didn’t have my back at that private event, I tried to keep my distance from her. She was off to the other side of the room, almost ready for the stage already, but even if we were on friendlier terms, I wouldn’t have dumped this news on her.

I needed more time to adjust to it. I had to let this news sink into my brain more before I could plan anything, including who I’d tell.

Getting dressed and ready for the stage, I moved without thought. Suspended in this haze of numbness, I tried to snap out of this funk and plan to think about it later.

No matter how much I tried not to let my mind go there, I was sucked into too many questions and thoughts of regret.

How could I have been so stupid?

I had known better than to go to a private event, and I damn well would always know better than to have sex with a guest.

How did this even happen?

That rugged man who fought off those creeps had used a condom. At the time, I’d been too distracted by the orgasm he gave me with his fingers to realize it, but he did put on a condom. I saw it when I staggered off him and watched him tug it off.

He used protection.I hated that I hadn’t stopped to listen to common sense to demand it, too distracted with lust in the heat of the moment, but I was relieved he’d seen to bagging his dick. Of course, condoms were never one hundred percent accurate…

How can this be happening?

Even though I masked my inner panic while I approached the stage, I couldn’t stem this trainwreck of thoughts plaguing me.

I’m in no position to bring a child into this world.

I was owned by the debt collectors, beholden to paying off the loans I’d taken out to stay afloat with the credit card debt Derick gave me as a parting gift before he disappeared with some skank he’d met.

I was stuck living in that crappy apartment, having to scrape by between ensuring I had money for utilities or groceries but never both.

I was alone, working every single chance I could get.

How will I have time to go to appointments? Who could watch this baby? How can I afford a babysitter? How would I manage to pay hospital bills to have this baby?

Questions stabbed me nonstop, but I trudged on, getting through the first few hours of the night.

When we had a break and the one bartender offered leftover food that guests hadn’t taken home, I sat and tried to stomach nibbling on a breadstick. I couldn’t, though, too torn up inside to have an appetite. If I ate anything, I’d be bound to throw it up on stage, and that wouldn’t help my tips at all.

Breathing slowly to calm myself down, I tried to work my way through what I knew versus all the unknowns that were freaking me out.

That man is the father.

This was the only fact that couldn’t be disputed. I hadn’t had sex with anyone else. Not before him, and not after, either. When I first suspected Derick was cheating on me, I stopped being intimate with him, and that was almost two years ago. And following that night when the suited man got me away from those three creeps who’d been pawing at me and targeting me, I hadn’t wanted anyone else.

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