Page 30 of Wanting the Winger

I used to be someone Lainey wanted, but did I miss my chance with her?And, more importantly, can I be the man she needs?Can I commit myself to her, and only her, forever?

I’d never give her less than everything.She means too much to me.

Fuck.I hate having to tell Carter he was right.

ChapterTen

Lainey

It’sday eight of the Great Bash Freeze-Out.And for a person who has a really hard time being mean to anyone, I’m doing pretty damn well.

I ambivalently sailed past the savory-smelling platter of freshly cooked bacon in the kitchen yesterday morning, my stomach begging me to give in.But no.Bash isn’t winning me over with a delicious homemade breakfast.Those cinnamon rolls looked incredible, though.He probably had to throw them away since he’s eating healthy to prepare for camp starting in two weeks.

When he texts asking if we can talk, I tell him I’m busy.I was at Mara’s from after work Friday night until Sunday afternoon when I had to come back to Bash’s to work on my lectures for Professor Carr’s classes.I went straight to my room and only came out to make a sandwich in the evening.

The craziest part is that I’m not even really mad at him anymore.I’m avoiding him because I’m not in a good place emotionally to talk to him.

I’ve been thinking about the things he asked me to consider.I only dated one guy before Shane, and that was a six-month college relationship that fizzled when he graduated.But even without much experience, I know Shane is definitely not head over heels in love with me.He’s never called mebeautifulorsexy.

Shane has been more of a comfortable presence in my life the past couple of years.We don’t have a lot of sex, but when we do, it’s...good for him every time andgood enoughfor me, maybe half the time.

I wanted Shane to want to see me last weekend.But when I told him Mara and Suki invited me to have a sleepover, he wasn’t disappointed.He said he had work to do and we could see each other another time.

I’m a scientist.I like logic and order.I used to be a starry-eyed romantic, but Bash broke me of that.I made a fool of myself to him and his rejection gutted me.

I promised myself I’d never feel that way again.I’d never fall so hard for someone that they had that kind of power over me.But maybe I went too far to the other end of the spectrum with Shane.

I once heard him tell his friends over his video game headset that he had time for another round of their game because I “probably had the shits.”He laughed.My cheeks blazed with humiliation.He probably thought I couldn’t hear him, but I was in his bedroom getting out the lingerie I’d packed for my first overnight stay at his house.

His thoughtless comment made me pack my bag up and tell him I wasn’t feeling well, and that’s when I decided we’d never spend an entire night together.He shrugged and waved at me over his shoulder, still playing his game.

It bothers me that he never fights for me.If we see each other, it’s fine, and if we don’t, that’s fine, too.If we have an argument, he leaves, and he doesn’t want to finish it later.

Bash drives me crazy with his nonstop criticism of Shane, but he’s stubborn as fuck and I don’t think he’ll ever give up.He’s a fighter.

I have to freeze him out because if I don’t, I’m going to fall for him again.Seventeen-year-old-me would never forgive me if that happened.

“Welcome to Harvest Moon,” the greeter at Harry’s restaurant says with a warm smile.“Can I get the name for your reservation?”

“I’m actually here to see Harry.”

“Oh!Let me go grab him.”

She’s beautiful, her light-brown skin glowy and her thick, tightly-coiled curls bouncy.Her perfectly pressed bright-white dress shirt matches her teeth.

Harry asked me to come by to check out his restaurant before trivia night.I knew it would be incredible, but it’s even more than I was expecting.The tables and floors are dark wood, the walls textured to look like soft brown saw grass.Candles in glass globes glow on every table and minimalist scones and chandeliers provide a warm glow, but the overall vibe is dark and cozy.

“Lainey.”Harry opens his arms as he approaches me.“I’m so glad you could come by.”

He’s wearing khakis and a light-blue polo, his short, dark-blond hair styled perfectly.Harry always looks put together and polished.

But me?I’m wearing jeans, Converse, and a well-worn black T-shirt that says, “Science doesn’t care about your opinion.”I changed out of my work clothes because dress shoes with pointy toes are bullshit.

“I’m finishing up a meeting in the kitchen,” Harry says as he leads me to a table for two.“Give me one minute and I’ll be back.”

“Sure, take your time.”

He wasn’t kidding— he’s back in less than two minutes, two glasses of something cloudy and light pink in hand.

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