Page 33 of Wanting the Winger

I take a deep breath.“Okay, so Bash was my brother Eric’s childhood best friend, right?They were together all the time.Every day.I idolized both of them, but when I was in fifth grade, I developed a hardcore crush on Bash.I kissed my pillow, imagining it was him, all that stuff.”

“Wait, how much older is he than you?”Dex asks.

“Four years.Every time he and Eric went to a dance with dates and they came over for my mom to take pictures, it broke my heart.”

“Aw.”Harry pats my hand.

“Yeah, and imagine me with even oranger hair, braces and bad skin.I was so awkward.But my hair got darker and finally, at the age of like fifteen, I got some boobs.So I was feeling better about myself, and when I was seventeen, I...”I blow out a breath.“I drove to his house and asked Bash to my prom.”

“Oh God,” Mara says.

“Exactly.He said no, of course.I cried and ran back to my car, planning to get the hell out of there, and it wouldn’t start.”

Dex claps a hand over his mouth.

“Oh, Lainey,” Suki says.

“Yeah.Bash called my parents, which got me into the deepest of shit because I’d lied about where I was going.He drove me home, which took more than six hours.I’ve never been so mortified in my life.He was so nice, telling me I was a great girl and any guy my age would be lucky to have me...”I shake my head.“And then, to make it even worse, the next week, he got my car fixed and drove it back home.My parents made me write him a thank-you card.”

They’re all giving me sympathetic looks, Dex’s face frozen in a cringe.Finally, Mara breaks the silence.

“That’s awful.I’m sorry.I mean, not that he got your car fixed, but you know what I’m saying.”

“Yeah.It took years for me to even be able to be around him again.”

“On an entirely different subject,” Mara says.“Does anyone want to share nachos with me?With so much extra cheese sauce that we need a snorkel and flippers to get to the nachos.”

“Hell yes,” Suki says.

I pass, fondue night still fresh in my mind.

My phone, which is face down on the table, buzzes with a new text.I flip it over, expecting to see a message from Shane.

Bash: Hey, just checking on you because it’s getting late.You ok?

It’s weird that my fiancé hasn’t texted me since yesterday, but Bash is concerned about me.It makes the voice of doubt about Shane in my head grow just a little louder.

ChapterEleven

Bash

Lainey hasn’t even openedthe box of frosted cherry Pop-Tarts in the pantry.Or the Junior Mints.

I look down at Bruce as I close the pantry door, shaking my head.“She’s really pissed, dude.It might be time to break out some wieners.”

Ballpark wieners, that is.Lainey’s parents used to have a bonfire just about every weekend in the summer.She always loved roasting her own hot dogs in the flames, preferring them charred to a crisp.

I didn’t even realize those were the good old days until they were over.Eric and I would set up a two-person tent and sleep in sleeping bags, sneaking out of it with flashlights to roam the neighborhood in the middle of the night.

He’s an insurance agent now.Married with a two-year-old daughter and another kid on the way.

Lainey finally got home around twelve thirty this morning.I was on the couch waiting, and she barely even acknowledged me, as usual.My attraction to her has taken over my thoughts.Even though I know Lainey isn’t a person who would cheat in a relationship, I fought my urge to ask her where she’d been.

Who even am I?She’s not my girlfriend.I’m not even a jealous type.I’ve always told myself if a woman wants me, great.And if not, someone else will.And up until now, the more emotionally detached women were from me, the better.

It’s all different with Lainey, though.She’s not just a woman.I care for her.And her being mad at me for more than a week feels like someone’s shredding my insides with a cheese grater.

Makes me want to kick my own ass, honestly.And that’s as fucked up as I’ve ever been over anyone.

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