Page 46 of Wanting the Winger

I’m a bad man.A dirty one.I could never tell Lainey about all the filthy things I want to do and say to her.Even if I pursue her, it’ll be in a gentlemanly way.I can never tell my best friend’s sister I want her to be my whore.I love dirty talk, but I don’t think she would.

Which is okay.I can just think about the things I want to say.

I had hoped that seeing less of her would help.Make my attraction less of a growing physical need to be near her.But it had the opposite effect.I wait for her in the kitchen every morning just so I can see her sweep past me with a quick goodbye as she rushes out the door.

After a line change, I catch my breath on the bench, squirting water into my mouth from my water bottle.It feels good to be back.To have more places to put my energy.

“Sutton’s sluggish as hell,” Carter says from next to me.

“Yeah, he’s heavier.”

Preseason games are where rosters get shored up and lines get finalized.Morris Sutton, who plays for Atlanta, faces the double whammy of being thirty-six and slacking on conditioning in the offseason.He used to be great, but now he’s a guy who’s hanging on too long.

“Don’t let me become him,” I tell Carter.

He scoffs.“Are you kidding?I’ll tell you you’re out of shape all day, every day.And when it’s time for you to go, I’ll shove your ass out the door if I have to.You guys will do the same for me.”

“Yeah.”

One of our third-line forwards, Jack Randolph, meets my gaze as he skates toward the bench.It’s a signal telling me to take over for him.I climb over the wall and dig in, diving to intercept the puck when it flies my way.Randolph is trying to come back after knee surgery, and so far, the preseason’s been tough for him.

Isaac, our goalie, loses his edge in the third period, causing us to drop the game.A final score of 5–2 is shitty when you’re the team with the two, even in the preseason.

Coach Turner looks somber when he comes into the locker room.

“Doubles starting tomorrow.”

That’s all he says.We all sit like statues, not making a sound as he leaves the locker room for his office.A single groan could turn double practices into something even worse.

Turner is the embodiment of fuck around and find out.Most coaches at the highest level of the game don’t bag skate their guys, which is a grueling punishment that involves skating long and hard enough that people are puking.Turner bag skates us when he thinks we deserve it.

It sucks, but I think he’s right to do it.A complacent coach has complacent players.Complacent teams don’t win championships.

Leo comes over to me and Carter, one towel around his neck and another wrapped around his waist.

“That was ugly,” he says.

“Yeah, no shit.”Carter runs a hand over his face.

“We should come in early tomorrow and drill,” I say.

“Yeah.Good idea.”Carter nods and looks between the two of us.“Six thirty?”

“Yep.”I check the time on my phone.

Shit.It’s after ten thirty p.m.I need to get home and go to bed.Practice starts at eight tomorrow, and instead of going until noon, it’ll go until four.Then there’s a team dinner Carter and Suki are hosting.And then there’s the thing after that, which I’m going to need a few drinks in me to be able to do.

I’ll have to be up at five thirty tomorrow to be on the ice at six thirty.But that’s what a good first line does; we set the tone for our entire team.Almost all of us looked like minor leaguers in that game, and Atlanta’s not even a top team.

The team provides breakfast and lunch on weekdays, so at least I know I can get some protein before practice officially starts tomorrow.

I won’t even be able to see Lainey in passing tomorrow.But she’s meeting me at the team dinner.

She’s going home to Columbus this weekend because her niece, Avana, is turning three.I hate that I have to miss it, but I’ll be traveling with the team.Though I’ve tried to make it obvious I’m interested in her, she doesn’t seem to be getting it.

I was driving to the practice facility a couple of days ago when it finally hit me.She went out on a limb for me.She risked hurt and rejection.I have to do the same.But I’m going to do it on an even bigger scale.And I’m doing it before she goes to Columbus this weekend because she could see Shitty Shane.

It’s not likely, but just in case.It’s been almost a month since they broke up.I’m not taking any chances, though.I’m ready to shoot my shot.

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