Ugh, my aching ovaries.I’d forgotten that my niece Avana calls Bash that.She’s in Cleveland with Eric and Callie for the weekend, and we’re all at Bash’s game against St.Louis at his home arena.
“He’ll be out there, punk.”I pick Avana up and point out to the ice.“We’re going to watch him play hockey.”
Her whole face lights up as she points to the ice.“Uncle Bashie!”
“Yes, baby.Soon.”I kiss the top of her head.
We’re in a suite an usher brought us to, where the Crush family members gather for a buffet and social hour before the game.I smile as Suki brings Charlotte and Hallie over.
“Hey, girl.”She gives me a half hug since I’m holding Avana.“Who’s this cutie?”
“This is my niece, Avana.And this is my brother Eric and my sister-in-law Callie.”
“Eric and Callie!”Suki lights up.“Bash and Lainey have told us all about you.”
Eric frowns.“All lies.”
She laughs.“It was all good, promise.I’m so glad you guys are here.Have you eaten?”
“I’m not sure there’s enough food,” Callie deadpans.
The buffet is an absolute feast, with long tables loaded with wings, burgers, soup, salad, potato skins, mac and cheese, roasted vegetables, and several desserts.
“Are you hungry?”I ask Avana.
She shakes her head, wiggling to get out of my hold.
“I should probably take her to the bathroom,” Callie says.
“I’ll take her,” I say.“You guys eat.”
“Great, thanks.”
I hold Avana’s hand and lead her out of the suite.People I don’t even know smile and nod at me when we walk out.Everyone here is friendly, easing my nerves about attending my first game as Bash’s girlfriend.
There are TV screens hanging on walls and mounted in corners, all broadcasting pregame coverage.I pause when I see a shot of the crowd entering the arena, the back of one of the jerseys showing Bash’s name and number.
He has fans.I knew that, but being here is really making it sink in.I’m not just with a hockey player; I’m with a hockey star.People enthusiastically spend their time and money to come watch the Crush play.
That has to be high pressure for the players.I imagine doing my research in the center of an arena, tens of thousands of people watching and cheering for me to succeed.
Damn.It has to feel terrible to disappoint people, even when the players know they gave it their all.Bash told me he has a game-day routine and that he might seem emotionally unavailable on those days unless I have an emergency.
I’m realizing what that means.When he was traveling, we exchanged minimal texts.Mostly just checking in to say hey when he arrived in a new city.I actually liked it because, on those days, I could throw myself into work at the lab and spend time alone at home.
I need my alone time.Suki and Mara are extroverts; they seem to thrive when they’re with their people.And I love that, too, but I also need time to recharge my social battery.
Silence is golden sometimes.I like to bake bread, read, or rot in front of the TV all alone sometimes.It makes my time with Bash feel more special.
“Where’s Uncle Bashie?”Avana scans the arena hallways for him.
“You’ll see him soon.He’ll be out on the ice playing hockey.”
We use the bathroom, which is an adventure.I have to go, too, which means keeping her in the stall with me.I have a new appreciation for Callie as I pee while trying to keep Avana from touching anything.
“Mommy says hold hands,” she tells me, taking both of my hands in hers.
Genius.Callie must have her daughter hold hands with her while she pees to keep her from picking up ten thousand germs and microbes.