Page 69 of Wanting the Winger

I have to wipe, but I can do that one-handed.

When I’m helping her wash her hands, I smooth a hand over my niece’s little blond ponytail.She’s wearing a little version of the same sweater I have on, which is Bash’s.I really wanted to wear one of his, and he told me to take anything I wanted from his closet, but they were just too big.They all hung past my fingertips and looked ridiculous on me.So I went with a smaller one he got me from a merch stand at the arena.

Once back in the suite, Avana and I eat.I’m careful to stick to low-fat foods.Avana has three bites of mac and cheese and that’s it.Hallie is leading her around the suite, enjoying her opportunity to be the bigger kid for once.

“So you and Bash.”Callie gives me a giddy smile.“I’m so happy for you.”

I get warm all over, grinning.“Thanks.It’s...I mean, he’s amazing.Really.He sent me flowers today.”

She puts a hand on her chest.“How sweet.Roses?”

“Two dozen purple roses.My favorite color.”

She looks at my brother and clears her throat dramatically.“Are you taking notes, Eric?”

He gives her a wry look.“Yeah, I’m all over it.”

That floral delivery made me cry.I was so surprised.It was my first time getting flowers, and when I read the card, I lost it.

Lainey,today is one of many firsts for us.I love you.- Bash

I never want to leave.Though I’m doing what I have to do and looking into my options for next semester, there’s a sense of dread when I do.

The place in Israel sent me information to apply.I emailed about Cambridge and they don’t have openings but they put me on a waiting list.

It’s time to decide where I’m going next semester and also next year if I want to become a full-time student working on my doctorate.

I’m torn.I love the research I’m finally getting to focus on.I worked hard on my bachelor’s and then my master’s, and this is the payoff.A doctorate would open more doors for me, but I’m really enjoying the doors that are open right now.

And Bash.For the first time in my life, my greatest joy isn’t coming from academic or professional accomplishments.I would have liked to date in high school, but it wasn’t in the cards for me.So, instead, I threw myself into my classes, graduating as one of seven valedictorians.

I don’t love Bash because he’s a star hockey player.I loved him long before that.And he sees through my accomplishments to me and loves me for who I am, not what I’ve done.

I’ve seen other women be loved like this.But me?I never expected it to happen.This isn’t a fling.I’m not scratching an itch.What I have with Bash fills a part of me I didn’t even realize was empty before.

“Shane saw the picture of you and Bash that Bash posted on his socials.”Callie looks smug.“I asked Brielle to ask one of the guys he games with.Shane said you cheated on him with Bash and that’s why you guys broke up.”

“Bull.Shit.”

“I know.But the point is, he saw it.He knows.”

I don’t have strong feelings about that.I guess I’m glad he knows I moved on, but I don’t wish bad things for Shane.His indifference and carelessness saved me from a disappointing marriage, so it’s hard to resent him.

Eric shakes his head.“He’s a tool.I’m really glad I don’t have to pretend I’m interested in him telling me about pool maintenance.Why the hell would I care?I don’t have a pool, and I don’t plan to get one.”

I laugh, remembering all the times I had to feign interest in pool chemical balances.

“It’s like me talking to someone in a casual conversation and being like, ‘Hey, do you know about insurance subrogation?’”Eric continues.“I’m just going to drone about it until you fall asleep.”

“I wish you’d told me how you really felt about him,” I say.

“I do, too.I gave Bash so much crap for complaining about him, and...”He shrugs.“He was right.”

“Yeah, but let’s not remind him of that,” I quip.“His ego is big enough.”

“Lainey!”

A woman wraps her arms around my neck from behind.I turn my neck to find Mara, who kisses me on the cheek.