Page 51 of No Business Like Snow Business

“You,” I said as the realization hit. “Christmas Falls hadyou.”

“Well, let’s just say I didn’t have a lot of faith when I was a kid that I was enough.” Kyle snorted, and my stomach clenched as I thought of Sterling. “But Win’s a stubborn son of a bitch who decided I was it for him.”

I was happy for him and jealous of him in equal measure. I wanted to ask how he’d known what they had was worth trying to build on. I wanted to ask if he’d asked Win to stay. But I didn’t know how to ask those things without revealing a part of myself I wasn’t ready to show a stranger. My expression probably told him everything he needed to know anyway.

Martha let out a sigh. “We really ought to go back to town, Harvey. What if someone wants to see the museum?”

I tried for another smile. “What are the chances of that though?”

Martha clicked her tongue. “Harvey.”

She was right. ThatBack in 5 minutessign I’d left on the door was becoming a bigger lie every moment. But I didn’t want to leave the cabin. I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn’t see Sterling again. And I didn’t know what the hell I was even going to say to him, but I had to saysomething. One last word salad, maybe, for old times’ sake.

Kyle’s gaze softened. “I reckon Win and Sterling have a lot of catching up to do, Harvey, but we won’t let him leave without telling you.”

His words didn’t melt away the knot of tension in my gut, but it eased the taut strings a fraction and gave me room to breathe, which was more than I had any right to ask for. Sterling and I might have had the potential to be more, but neither of us had made any promises. What we were at the moment—that potential, that chemistry, the way our gazes found each other and my heart beat faster with a thrill of pleased recognition—would fade away to nothing more than a vague sense of nostalgic regret if we let it.

Oh, I’d tell myself ten or twenty years from now,Sterling was a great guy, handsome and fun, and the sex was amazing. My life might have been really different if he’d stuck around. I wonder what he’s doing these days.I’d Google him, probably, and then forget about him again until something random reminded me. A hot chocolate. A little wooden reindeer.The Twelve Days of Christmas.

Okay, so given that it was Christmas all year round in Christmas Falls, maybe I wouldn’t even have the chance to forget Sterling. Maybe the memory of him would persist, like athlete’s foot, or a wart that wouldn’t go away.

That was a bad analogy. Sterling was much nicer than a wart.

Martha rose to her feet. “Come on, Harvey. He’s not going to leave without saying goodbye.”

Right, but also? I wasn’t sure I could handle another goodbye from Sterling Van Ruyven. The first one had been bad enough. It wasn’t as though I had a choice. It wasn’t as though I could stop him from leaving if that was what he was going to do. Andof coursethat was what he was going to do. We’d only known each other for a few days. Of course it was.

“Okay,” I said, and stood. “Thanks for the cookies.”

Kyle blinked at me. “You brought those with you.”

“Oh. Um, thanks for the use of the couch then, I guess.”

Kyle smiled and shook his head at the same time; I had that effect on a lot of people. “You’re welcome, Harvey. Any time.”

I was so deep in thought as I drove Martha back to Christmas Falls that I’d forgotten about Steven. Also, we’d been gone for an hour and a half, so one might expect Steven to have left the museum. But when I entered and glanced into Festival Hall, hewas there with his camera set up on a tripod, grim-faced as he snapped photos of the festival-goers. I wasn’t sure how he could possibly need more photos of Festival Hall, but I counted my blessings and sneaked past the doorway, Martha right behind me.

“I’ll go and make us some tea,” she said, bustling past me.

I’d no sooner taken off my hat and set in on the desk when Steven appeared, lugging his camera and tripod.

“What the hell is going on, Harvey?” he asked, lowering his voice as he crossed to my desk. “First you say you’re coming to see me, and you know you can’t just show up at my house, but I figured it must be important, so I came to see you, and you’re not even here.”

“Hi,” I said, unwinding my scarf as I imagined using it to strangle him. “First of all, thank you for the reminder that I was never anything more than your dirty little secret, and I’m sorry, but that message wasn’t meant for you. It was meant for Sterling.” Then, because he was looking at me blankly, I said, “Because both your names start with S.”

“Sterling, yourboyfriend?” His lip curled up in something that might have been a world-class sneer, if only he thought this conversation, or me, was worth the effort.

“Mm,” I said noncommittally, looping my scarf around itself and putting it on my desk beside my hat.

Steven rolled his eyes, and I wondered why I’d ever thought he was attractive. He was, objectively. But then you spent ten seconds with him and his personality really started to sour the entire experience. “I know he’s not your boyfriend. You’ve been telling everyone he’s just some guy doing a research project on the town.”

Okay, wow.

Steven let out a short, impatient huff of breath. “So which is it? All this shit about how I was keeping you a secret,usingyou,refusing to be open…if Sterling really is your boyfriend, you’re sure putting a lot of effort into hiding that. God, Harvey. I’m embarrassed for you.”

“Excuse me?” My stomach clenched in anticipation of a sharp blow to my self-confidence. Steven was good at those. “Why would you be embarrassed for me?”

“This whole farce.” Steven shook his head like a disappointed parent, the patronizing asshole. “It’s obvious you still have feelings for me.”

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