Page 11 of Road Trip

“Okay, but it would save so much money,” Matt said. “And your parents are always on your ass about not wasting your money.”

That was true. I’d worked the last two summers at a boat rental place in Cape Charles, explaining to tourists how I couldn’t rent them a pontoon boat before they’d completed the Boater Safety Course, however much they assured me they knew boats. I’d saved some of that money, but Matt was right that my parents were always on my case to save more.

So, after we finished our nachos, we went to Walmart and got a cheap tent and some sleeping bags and other stuff. We got some more snacks for tomorrow’s drive too, and by the time we got back to the motel, I was ready to crash. I grabbed a shower first, and afterward I stared at the crack of light coming in through the curtains that didn’t quite close and listened to Matt humming in the bathroom. My eyes kept closing, and every time they did, Icould still see the road stretching out in front of me and feel the thrum of the car’s engine in my bones as I drifted closer and closer to sleep. I’d probably dream about driving tonight.

And then, right on the edge of sleep, I heard Matt climbing under the covers of his bed and letting out a long, slow sigh.

“I’m really glad you’re here with me, Jacob,” he whispered, and I didn’t know if I’d dreamed it or not.

CHAPTER

FOUR

MATT

2121 miles to go

Fall Creek Falls, TN

The guy on the phone said we were lucky they’d had a cancellation, and when we got to Fall Creek Falls, most of the sites were already occupied. There were campers and tents clustered around the amenities buildings and kids climbing all over the playground. We were a little farther along from all of that in what was called a primitive site. We could drive to it, but there wasn’t any water or electricity. Since we were right near a bathhouse, it didn’t matter much.

Our campsite was in a grassy area with a picnic table and a firepit. I didn’t like how we were so close to other tents that people waved at us as we pulled up, and we could hear their conversations drifting over to us once we got out of the car. I would have preferred a site that wasn’t near anyone else but not enough that I’d be willing to shit in the woods. So our neighbors were a compromise I was happy to make in exchange for that handy bathhouse.

“This is awesome.” Jacob stretched, putting his hands on his ass and arching his back. I could hear his spine popping fromwhere I was hauling our new tent out of the back of the car. “We should go for a walk.”

“We should put the tent up.”

“The map says Cane Creek Cascades is only like half a mile. We’ll be back before it’s dark.” He threw me a puppy-eyed look. “Come on. We’ve been sitting on our asses all day.”

“I don’t want to get murdered in backwoods Tennessee,” I complained, but I was already following him.

Once we were on the trail, it didn’t take long for the trees to close in and the sounds of people’s voices to fade. We didn’t talk, but we slowed our footsteps so that we were almost dawdling, both of us drinking in the fresh air and the dappled sunlight and the clean, earthy smell of the woods. Insects buzzed and birds sang. It felt good to move after being stuck in the car for so long, so I didn’t complain too much about the walk.

I maybe complained a little, but I knew Jacob would know it was bullshit. It usually was when I opened my mouth, and Jacob had always been the only person who could tell the bullshit that was just bullshit for bullshit’s sake from the bullshit that was only there to hide what I really wanted to say.

When I was twelve and my mom had started working nights more often, there had been this weird guy who lived across the street from us, and I got it in my head that he was gonna kill me. I didn’t need a reason to think it, but it was probably a combination of too many killer-with-a-chainsaw movies and the fact he yelled at me once for skateboarding in his driveway. Mom always said I could put two and two together and get five. Anyhow, one night when Mom was working, I was making myself a sandwich when I heard a thump on the back porch.

Raccoon? Probably, but try telling my twelve-year-old brain that. So I did what every idiot in a horror movie does—I bolted out into the darkness. I grabbed my bike and rode as fast as I could to Jacob’s house, convinced every second of the way that I’d hear the splutter-rev-roar of a chainsaw starting up right behind me.

“Hey,” I’d said when I hit Jacob’s window with enough pebbles to wake him up. “What are you doing?”

I didn’t tell him I was scared, so instead I tried to pass my whole midnight flight off as a casual visit. He saw right through me, with my wild, crazy hair, my heaving chest, and my sweaty fear. But he would have seen through me anyway, without any of that, because he always did.

“Um, nothing,” he said as he very clearly blinked himself awake. “Do you want to come up?”

And that was Jacob in a nutshell. Last night when I’d fallen asleep listening to him breathe, it had hit me hard: I wouldn’t have him in my life anymore after this summer. Not the way he’d always been there before. If I freaked the fuck out about chainsaw killers or bear attacks or flunking out of college, who was I going to go to? Who was going to sit beside me and pretend he couldn’t see what a mess I was while I frantically got my shit together again?

It was part of the reason I was going to California. If Jacob was leaving Cape Charles, then what the hell was keeping me there? Jacob had cut me loose, whether he knew it or not, and I had to find my own way. No more running straight to his side whenever I was afraid.

Okay, so this whole fucking road trip was that, but after the summer I’d be going cold turkey, right? And it’d be fine. I’d be okay. I was going to be a new person in California.

“When we get back to camp, I should check in with Mom and Dad,” Jacob said, the sunlight turning his unbrushed hair into a wild golden halo. “You should check in with your mom.”

“I did already,” I lied. I’d said everything I needed to say to Mom in the note I’d left, and I’d blocked her number temporarily—just until I got to my dad's and got settled. I’d call her when I had everything worked out, but I didn’t need to hear her tell me I was making a mistake, not when I knew this was for the best.

When Jacob craned his head to look at the sky, I took the opportunity to drink him in. I knew every inch of him, but I nevergot tired of looking. Because guys weren’t supposed to look, were they? Unless they were hiding something like me. I’d slept on the mattress beside Jacob’s bed more times than I could count since we were kids, listening to him breathing as he slept, but I wasn’t allowed tolookat him. Not in a way that might give away how much I wanted him. Not in a way that might give away all my secrets.

Well, one secret.

---