Page 13 of Road Trip

I let go before he did, like always, because what if I touched him for too long? It was habit at this point, listening to the automatic voice in the back of my head that said,Don’t be too gay, Matt! So I guessed that Icarus was in no danger of trying to fly just yet, huh?

We floated for a little while once we were done horsing around and then I got cold again, so I got out of the water and stood in the sun. Really wished about now that we’d brought towels, but thinking ahead wasn’t either of our strong points. I thought about using Jacob’s shirt for a towel, but his spidey senses must have picked up on my evil plan because he waded out of the water and hurried toward me.

I didn’t look for too long at the way the sunlight gleamed on the planes of his wet body. I got real busy bending down to check my phone because my dick suddenly forgot how cold we were and was taking an interest too.

Jacob shook himself like a dog, and a halo of water exploded from his hair, catching the light. Then he crouched down beside me and squinted at his phone screen. He made a face.

“What?”

“It’s from Layla. She says she hopes I’m having a nice time. Is that weird?”

“I don’t know.”

“Is she just being friendly, or is she trying to get back with me?”

I shrugged. “Would you get back with her?”

“We’re going to different colleges, so.” It wasn’t a no, though, was it? He wrinkled his nose. “I dunno. It’s like she’s being all extra nice in case I’m upset the way she broke up withme, so I feel kind of bad for not being actually, you know, upset at all.”

“You’re not upset?” I slid my wet feet back into my shoes, leaving the laces undone, and slung my shirt over my shoulder.

Jacob squinted at the sky for a moment and then shrugged. “Nah. Maybe I’m a sociopath.”

“You’re not a sociopath.”

“How do you know?”

“I just know.” I started picking my way over the rocks toward the stairs that would take us back the way we’d come.

“But how do you know?” he asked, following me.

I knew because Jacob was the best friend a guy could have, and he always had been. Because he let me sleep in his room when I was too afraid to go home to an empty trailer. Because his mouth twisted up a little whenever I said something about an asshole neighbor in the mobile home park or a kid who was giving me shit at school. Because Jacob was full of empathy, and the only reason it didn’t translate into action when it came to me was because he knew I’d hate it. Because even worse than getting scared or getting bullied or just getting generally shit on in life would be the whole world finding out about it. I didn’t want anyone’s pity, because fuck that and fuck them. But Jacob knew, and so he protected me as best he could even while neither of us acknowledged it. Jacob cared so much about how I felt that he was whatever the opposite of a sociopath was.

But it wasn’t like I could say any of that, so I said instead, “Because you cried like a baby that time we watched the video of the kitten climbing out of its cage into the one next to it.”

“It wanted to be with itsfriend!” he said and swatted me on the ass with his shirt. “Besides, I was super fucking high.”

I laughed and then, when we reached the stairs, I said, “Race you!” and got a head start.

He beat me to the top anyway.

CHAPTER

FIVE

JACOB

2121 miles to go

Fall Creek Falls, TN

Getting the tent up was pretty easy even if we had to read the instructions to find out where to slot in the bendy poles. Dinner was less of a success. Back in Boone we’d hit up a grocery store and grabbed a lot of stuff in cans, none of which was very appetizing when we could smell people doing actual grilling at nearby campsites. But it was cheap, which was the point. And wasn’t that part of the fun of camping, pretending we were pioneers or some shit?

That was what I told myself as I ate my beans, anyway. And it was pretty chill, sitting round the campfire I’d made and watching Matt grin around his spoon and laugh at some dumb joke I’d made. He was the happiest I’d seen him in a while. I figured it was because he was excited to see his dad, but part of me liked to think that maybe I was the reason too.

We’d laid our wet shorts on the hood of the car to dry when we got back and Matt was wearing an oversized hoodie and old jeans that made him look almost fragile. He’d always been smaller than me, even though he was forever shoveling food in his mouth.Mom sometimes looked in the refrigerator after he’d gone and asked if his legs were hollow. I’d built some muscle in the last few years, but Matt was as skinny as ever. I sometimes thought that was part of why I felt so protective of him. Like my big brother instincts were activated or something, because they sure as hell never had been with Luke. Then again Luke was built like a linebacker. He could look after himself just fine, plus he had a bunch of friends. Matt only had me.

Like, his mom worked a lot of hours and even when she was home, it was like she wasn’t really there. Even before she’d been wrapped up in her new boyfriend, she’d been as antisocial as Matt in her own way. In all the years Matt and I had been friends, she’d probably only met my parents maybe three times. Matt always said his dad had been the fun one—right until he left.

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