“That would be awful!”
“But at least he wouldn’t have ghosted you. Maybe he’s in a hospital bed with two broken legs and a feeding tube and all he can do is mime sending a text and what he’s trying to say is ‘I need my phone!’ but the nurses think he’s asking for pain relief. Or maybe he’s a literal ghost!”
“There is something very wrong with the way your brain works.”
“I was trying to make you feel better.”
“Idiot,” he said, but he sounded as though he was trying not to laugh. “Okay, so you and Matt. Wait. Aunt Kate said Matt was staying in California.”
“Yeah.”
“Oh. Oh, I’m sorry, Jacob.”
“All men are bastards, right?” I tried to make it sound like a joke, but it didn’t come out that way.
Charlie sighed. “You like him, right? This wasn’t just you experimenting?”
“He’s my best friend,” I said. “Ilovehim. But maybe not the right way? I don’t know. And anyway it doesn’t matter. He’s staying in California and I’m going to ODU.”
Charlie sighed again. “If only there was a way to get from here to there. Like, a magical metal sky tube that carries you across the country in exchange for shiny pennies. Or some sort of device that lets you speak to a person even though they’re far away. Or a screen where you can see the other person, or?—”
“Okay, I get it,” I said. “But what if he doesn’t want any of that? What if I’ve fucked up our friendship and he can’t wait to be rid of me?”
“Why are you asking me this instead of Matt?”
“I left him asleep. I’m doing laundry.”
“Why are you—you know what? It doesn’t matter. The question is, did you make a move on him or did he make a move on you?”
“He kissed me after I told him I might not be straight. And then we did other stuff.”
“So if the first thing he did when he found out you weren't straight was kiss you, maybe he loves you too.”
Huh.That Matt might feel the same way about me as I felt about him hadn’t even occurred to me. See? Slow on the uptake. Exhilaration surged through me, followed by a crashing wave of despair. Even if what Charlie said was true, we were still going to be living at opposite ends of the country.
Why the fuck was I only just figuring this out now, when it was too late?
“Jacob?” Charlie said quietly.
“Yeah.”
“Talk to Matt. See if he feels the same. And if he does, you’llfigure it out. I mean, Matt’s stubborn as heck from what I’ve seen. He’s not going to let something as dumb as distance stop him getting what he wants. He literally just found a way to cross the country to be with his dad. So he’ll find a way back to see you too.”
“Yeah, maybe,” I said slowly, my brain already ticking over. “And there are probably cheap flights. I can go visit sometimes. People do that, right? Long-distance date?”
“Oh yeah,” Charlie said. “All the time. And it wouldn’t be forever.”
“They never work, though, right? Long-distance relationships?”
“The ones that are meant to will,” Charlie said. “You and Matt have been best friends forever. You think something like a couple thousand miles can come between you?”
I let out a faint laugh. “I guess not. But it sure feels like all this new stuff might.”
“But it might not,” Charlie said. “And the only way you’ll know is to try, if that’s what you want to do. I don’t have the answers for you, Jacob. But I think that maybe you and Matt can come up with them together.”
“Yeah,” I said. “Maybe. Thanks, Charlie.”
And I went back inside the laundromat to see if our clothes were done yet.