Page 30 of Love Notes

I’d done a fair amount of decorative carving onto custom furniture before, and a water lily would be easier than a rose—there was no stem to worry about.I figured I could make one in a few hours and maybe even before Adam woke up.

Because I couldn’t write Adam a love note, but I could dothis.And I’d hoped it would say what I wanted without needing words.

I WOKE UPlate the morning after Founders Day, which probably had something to do with the wine I’d drunk the night before.My head felt a little fuzzy, but I wasn’t hungover.Although, it did take me a moment to notice two things.First, Ryan wasn’t in bed.And second, something was sitting on his pillow.I reached out and touched it, my fingers feeling the pointed wooden shapes of it, and then I realized it was a water lily, as symmetrical and delicate as the one I’d seen yesterday at the lake.

My heart clenched, and my eyes prickled with unaccountable tears.Fuck, he was so fuckingperfect.And also a goddamn magician.When the hell did he even make this?

I cradled the water lily in my palms for a moment, suddenly aware that I could hear Ryan speaking softly from downstairs.I couldn’t hear anyone else in the conversation though, so I guessed he was on the phone.

I got up, still clutching my water lily, and went downstairs to the bathroom.The front door to the cabin was open, and Ryan was still talking, so he must have been on the porch.I used the bathroom, then washed my face and brushed my teeth, and then went to look for him.

He was standing in the sunlight at the bottom of the porch steps, his phone to his ear.He turned as I approached, a smile lighting up his features.Then his gaze dropped to the water lily, and a pink flush rose on his cheeks.“I gotta go, Sam,” he said and ended the call.“Hi.”

“Hi.This is amazing.You’re amazing.When did you even have time to make this?”

“Overnight,” he said.“I like to work in the middle of the night.”

“It’s beautiful, Ryan.”

He wrinkled his nose, the way he did whenever he got a compliment.“I sold your rose yesterday.Sorry.So I figured I owed you a flower.And, um, also for the nice things you said in your note.”

“You don’t owe me a thing,” I said.“But I am keeping it, for the record.”

His soft laughter made my heart swell.“Sam said we missed all the drama at the concert last night.Apparently Conor had to put out a fire on stage during Dallas Blade’s set, andthenDallas Blade bid on him in the bachelor auction and won.Sam thinks he’s more pissed about that than the fire.”

“Almost makes me wish we’d gone to the concert,” I said.“But only almost.”

“Yeah, I think we had more fun here.”Ryan slipped his phone into his pocket.“Do you want breakfast?”

“I want something else,” I said, and reached out and caught his hand.“Come back to bed, Ryan.I want you inside me.Can we do that?”

“Yeah,” he said, and squeezed my hand.His voice sounded a little hoarse.“Yeah, let’s do that.”

I led him back upstairs.

This wasn’t something we’d done yet, but I’d visited the pharmacy yesterday when I was in town and picked up some condoms—I really didn’t want to resort to using the monster fucker—and more lube.

Nerves fluttered in my gut; it had been a while since I’d done this, but I trusted Ryan.I trusted us together.Being intimate with Ryan was a privilege; moments that tipped seamlessly from funny and joyful—the monster fucker condom sprang to mind—to hallowed, almost holy silences where we connected with touches, with kisses, and with gazes that held us close.I’d been with guys I thought I loved before, yet I’d never experienced that same depth of connection as I did with Ryan.I remembered what I’d told him about Plato.His soul was like the jigsaw puzzle piece that fit perfectly with mine.

We reached the loft, and I set the water lily on the nightstand and then turned to look at Ryan.He looked as nervous as I felt, oddly out of place in a bedroom that was technically his.I stepped closer, and drew him in for a soft, familiar kiss.He smelled of warmth and tasted a little of coffee.Which was honestly not great with my toothpaste breath, but, weirdly, it was fine.I liked it because I liked him so much that it didn’t matter.I ended the kiss with a smile and ran my fingers through his hair, tousling the longer bits on top that were trying hard to be curls.

Ryan’s fingers found the hem of my T-shirt, and he tugged it up.I lifted my arms to help him get it over my head and then reached out to unfasten the buttons of his plaid shirt.Opening the shirt, I slid my hands over the planes of his chest, enjoying the lean definition of his muscles, and the way they jumped under my touch.

We kissed again, warmth turning to heat.Ryan hooked his fingers in the waistband of my sleep pants—though to call them a waistband was a stretch, since they were so loose they hung from my hips.His touch stayed there, as he silently sought permission.I gave it by reaching for the button of his jeans and popping it open.My sleep pants slid down easily; Ryan had to step away to take his jeans off.

We kissed again, in just our underwear, and my dick was already hard and aching by the time Ryan walked me backward to the bed.I lay down, and Ryan followed me onto the bed.The sheets already smelled like us, our shampoo, our bodywash, our warmth, and there was nowhere else in the world I wanted to be.

We took it slowly, moving together until Ryan was at last positioned in the cradle of my thighs, and he entered me excruciatingly gently.It was perfect as he filled me, and my back arched off the bed at the exquisite stretch.He rocked into me, and I wrapped my legs around him.Sunlight made his skin glow.Outside, the lake sparkled brightly, but I was barely aware of it.I only had eyes for Ryan, drinking in the sight of his beautiful, serious face as we made love, and knowing that, even as my body sent urgent signals to me to come, I wanted this moment to last forever.

“Ryan.”I drew him down for a kiss, and we stilled for a moment.My body was balanced right on the sharp edge of urgency, my dick throbbing hard between us.Bolts of pleasure zinged through my bloodstream, lighting me up from the inside.“More, please.”

His next thrust was harder, and both of us cried out.I kept my legs wrapped around him, unwilling to let him go, before he pulled away and raised himself up onto his knees.His dick slipped out of me, and I swallowed my complaint when he lifted my legs onto his shoulders and pushed inside me again.Now he had the leverage to go harder and deeper, and he did.I gripped the pillow with one hand and started to stroke myself with the other, gazing up at him through half-lidded eyes.

When he came, his body froze first, then shuddered wildly.The sight of it was enough to draw me over the edge with him, painting my stomach and chest with ropes of cum.I sank into the mattress, all my energy spent, and Ryan followed me, breathing hard.

I traced patterns on his sweat-damp back.“That was amazing.”

I could feel his heart beating fast.His hand sought mine, and we tangled our fingers together.“Mmm.”

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