Page 57 of The Playboy's Playbook

“Did you have a nightmare?” I ask.

She lets out a sad chuckle. “No.”

We stand in silence, neither of us making a move. She looks up at me with her brown eyes and it’s only then that I notice they’re red and puffy. I hate myself for being the reason for her tears.

I finally let out a sigh and ask Laila the one question that plays in my mind over and over. “Do you hate me?”

Having her hate me with the possibility of her falling for me was easier than having her hate me and never getting the chance to be with her.

She stills and considers her answer, her prolonged silence making me nervous. “I don’t hate people, Matthew.”

“Then tell me what you’re feeling, baby,” I plead.

“Please, don’t call me baby,” she whispers.

“I know that you came over because you felt like you had to, but you didn’t. I’m glad you’re here, but I just…I wish it wasn’t like this.”

She scoffs and shakes her head, a few stray tears fall from her eyes. “Then you should have told me the truth about everything. I can’t possibly understand what you’re going through or what you’ve been through on your journey. But a lot of things could have been avoided had you been honest with me from the beginning.”

I close my eyes and lean my head back. “I know, Laila, trust me. I am well aware of the mistakes I’ve made. I couldn’t risk losing you.”

“And you lost me anyway.” She turns and leaves the room, making her way back to my bedroom. A few seconds later, she emerges in the clothes she arrived in and I spring to action.

“Laila, you don’t have to go.” I chase after her, wanting to keep her here a little while longer. She’s grabbing her purse and keys, making her way to the door when I catch up with her.

“Laila, please! Do you want me to get on my knees and beg for your forgiveness? Because I will. I know that there is a very slim possibility in this lifetime that I can earn your trust back, but I will work until my last breath to do it.”

She turns and storms toward me furiously. “That’s where you’re wrong because there is no possibility in this lifetime or the next million that you earn my trust back!”

I drop to my knees in front of her and look up at her, letting tears fall from my eyes. “Tell me then – what can I do to fix this? I will doanythingfor you. You want me to jump off a cliff into freezing cold water? Because I’ll go do that shit right now. You want me to paint your house with an art brush? Consider it fucking done. You’re the love of my life and no matter what or how you feel about me, I will not give up on us.”

She looks at me and I realize what I said. I just confessed my love for her and I don’t care about the timing because she needs to know.

“I love you.”

She shakes her head and whispers, “I don’t care.”

She turns on her heels and swings the door open forcefully as she storms out of the apartment. I turn and grab my keys and chase her down the steps into the parking lot. It doesn’t register that I’m barefooted until the bottom of my feet hit the warm, rocky concrete.

I catch up to her just as she opens her car door. I grab her by her wrist and turn her to face me, which was the second biggest mistake I’ve made tonight. She yanks her wrist from my grasp and raises her palm, slapping me clean across my face before pushing me away from her.

I hold my face for a second, the stinging feeling hurting like hell before I step back to her and trap her against her car. She squirms and I let her before she tires out and slumps against the car’s door.

“If you think I’m letting you drive home in the dark alone, you have lost your mind,” I say roughly against her ear.

“I drove over here alone in the dark, didn’t I?” The fight comes back to her body, but I don’t let up.

“Laila, get your ass back inside and go to sleep. If you decide you want to leave as soon as the sun comes up, then you can go and I won’t fight you. But I’m not letting you leave here in the middle of the fucking night.”

Her chest rises and falls rapidly and she pushes back against me, this time with enough force to push me away from her body. She locks her car and stomps back up the steps to the apartment.

I follow behind her, keeping a safe distance in case she turns around with another open palm ready to meet my face – that girl may be tiny, but that slap could’ve knocked me down if she tried hard enough. I know I shouldn’t have fought with her –I should have let her go because forcing her to stay here isn’t doing me any favors.

Laila locks herself in my room and I retreat to the spare room, sleep not finding me. Before long, the sun rises, and the soft sound of my bedroom door opening, followed by the front door closing, makes the last of my tears fall.

“Matthew! Matthew! Wake your ass up!” Luke’s voice booms, followed by his fists pounding on the bedroom door. I texted him after Laila and I had our argument and told him what I did. He immediately texted back and said he’d see me in the morning.

I knew he wouldn’t be happy and by the sound of his voice, he’s pissed.

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