Page 76 of The Playboy's Playbook

MATT

Since the rodeo, I felt like there was a tiny sliver of hope that I could win Laila back. I had to jump on the chance of getting her back before the play clock ran out. I’m on a serious time crunch here because the closer it gets to August, the less time I have before she leaves to go back to D.C., if not before.

“I want to make up for the date we never had,” I spout without thinking.

“What date?” she furrows her brows, confusion clear on her face.

“The home cooked meal I asked for the day –” I trail off, not wanting to open that can again, but I think it’s too late. Laila doesn’t say anything and I don’t know how to take that.

“We can talk and-and catch up on things. I want to hear all about your life in D.C. working with the senator. Tell me about your classes. Tell me about, oh I don’t know, spin classes,” I ramble in an attempt to get her to agree.

“I’m more of a Pilates girl,” she whispers.

“Then tell me about Pilates. Just…I can’t go another moment without you.” I feel like the best thing I can do at this moment is to lay my heart out there.

Laila knows how I feel about her and I know she feels the same way – she’s just protecting herself. I understand it and if I were in her position, I would do the same thing. I wouldn’t give myself an inch just to run the risk of an entire mile being taken. I don’t want to pressure her either – that’s never my intention when it comes to her.

I just need a chance.

“Fine. Sunday night at five. Don’t be late, Matthew.”

I let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. “That’s the last thing I’d do.”

“Luke!” I shout as I enter his house. I’ve been calling him nonstop since Laila agreed to having dinner.

“Lucas!” I shout even louder as I march through the quiet house. Where the hell is he? And where are the boys? I know he’s home because I checked his location before I drove over.

A couple of giggles come from the back patio and I head in that direction. I slide the door open and see that Luke is sitting on the edge of the pool while Clay and Jen play water basketball.

“Yo!” I call out, getting his attention. I toe off my shoes and roll up my jeans before walking over to him.

“Hey, Matty. I thought you were at some graduation ceremony for Nola?” Luke asks, looking at me quizzically.

I sit down next to him and smile and wave at the boys. “It was a short ceremony. I was calling you, dude.”

Luke nods to the covered deck. “I left my phone over there to keep it out of the heat. Are you good? You look kind of pale.”

I nod several times and take a deep breath. “Yeah, I’m good. I asked Laila if she would go out with me.”

Luke leans back in surprise. “Really? I mean, I thought the rodeo was a bit soon, but asking her to go out with you again? Are you sure about that?”

I keep my gaze on the boys as they swim to try and get the ball to toss it in the hoop. “Besides each other, do they have a best friend?” I ask, avoiding Luke’s previous question.

He shrugs in response. “I mean, I guess. They talk about their classmates all the time, but they never really say they have a best friend. Why?”

I smile sadly, remembering when Laila and I were Clay’s age and all we wanted to do was be with each other. I would go home and hurry to get in the bed, thinking that it made morning arrive quicker.

“Before all of this happened, Laila was my best friend. I was the person she turned to and could count on. She’s an only child, you know? She used to tell me when we were kids that the highlight of her day was coming to school so she could spend the day with me – her best friend. I thought about whether she would go home and tell her mom about what she and I did at school that day.

“I thought about if she was going to wake up one day and decide she didn’t want to be my friend anymore. I thought about ways to make sure she never thought anything less of herself. And then the next year, I did just that. All because we were placed in different classes.”

I choke back tears as I finally admit how I’ve been feeling. Luke remains quiet as he lets me vent.

“Best friends don’t do that to each other and I hurt her in the worst way possible by breaking a promise I told her I’d always keep. And then I hurt her again by not being completely honest with her. How about that? I fucked up as a kid and then again as an adult. For years, she thought that she was the problem.Ileft her in the dust and made her feel worthless. I abandoned my best friend.”

Luke sighs and kicks his feet in the water, looking back out to his sons. “You’ve shown her that you are a changed man. You don’t break promises anymore. You don’t forget about others. You don’t keep secrets. You are so selfless in your actions and I think that makes up for a lot of mistakes you made in the past. You should be proud of where you are now, Matty because there’s nothing that can be done to change the past.”

Luke and I sit in silence, the sounds of Clay and Jen splashing in the water filling the air. After a moment, I finally speak up again. “But does she really see that? Does Laila truly see and know that I’m not that same kid anymore?”

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