Page 4 of Grumpy Alien Bodyguard

“For jinxing it. You said nothing ever happens, and bam—missing ambassador. You’re like a walking disaster magnet.”

“Shut up and fly,” I snap, but there’s no heat in it. My scales itch with anticipation. This is what I’ve been waiting for. A fight. A mission. Something todo.

TheSweet Charityhums as it accelerates, the stars blurring into streaks of light. I crack my knuckles, my tail twitching. “Let’s see what kind of mess this ambassador’s gotten herself into.”

I’m sprawled in the captain’s chair, glaring at the broken armrest like it’s personally insulted me. “This ship’s falling apartfaster than a pi’rell’s moral compass,” I mutter, flicking a piece of debris off my lap.

The comms chirp, and I perk up. “Finally. No doubt they’re commending me on my initiative. Probably promoting me to Supreme Annihilator or something equally impressive.”

The holographic display flickers to life, and General Dowron’s weathered face fills the bridge. His pink scales are duller than I remember, and the lines around his eyes are deeper. He looks like he’s aged a century since I last saw him.

“Varnok,” he barks, his voice sharp enough to cut through durasteel. “Are you en route to the coordinates where Ambassador Gellar’s ship disappeared?”

I lean back, crossing my arms. “Of course I am. I’m not one to sit around while there’s a damsel in distress.”

Dowron’s jaw tightens. “This isn’t a joke, Varnok. The ambassador is embroiled inverydelicate negotiations. You’re the wrong man for this job. Stand down and let a more…diplomaticship handle it.”

I raise an eyebrow. “Diplomatic? You mean slow and useless. I’ll have her back before they’ve finished drafting their mission statement.”

Dowron’s scales flush a deeper pink, and his voice rises. “This isn’t up for debate, Varnok. I’m ordering you to?—”

I cut him off with a sharp gesture to Gas. My pilot grins, his golden fur catching the light as he grabs a bucket of glitter from under the console. With a flourish, he tosses a handful into the holo display. The glitter swirls around Dowron’s face, distorting the image.

“What was that, General?” I ask, leaning forward with mock concern. “You’re breaking up. There’s a lot of static.”

Dowron’s eyes narrow. “Quantum entanglement comms don’thavestatic, Varnok. And I can see your pilot throwing?—”

I reach over and shut off the holocom, cutting him off mid-sentence. The bridge falls silent, save for the faint hum of the engines.

“That fooled him,” I say, smirking. “Resume course, Gas.”

Gas chuckles, his claws dancing over the controls. “You’re gonna get us both court-martialed, you know that, right?”

“Worth it,” I reply. “Let’s go find this ambassador before Dowron sends someone boring to do it.”

The stars snap back into place as theSweet Charitydrops out of superluminal speed. I lean forward in my chair, my tail twitching like a live wire. “Gas, where are we?”

Gas’s golden fur ripples as he scans the console. “Right where theTriumphantwas last seen. No sign of her, though. Just a whole lot of nothing.”

“Scan for her transponder signal. If she’s out here, we’ll find her.”

Gas’s claws dance over the controls, and a moment later, a faint ping echoes through the cabin. “Got it. Weak signal, but it’s there. Coming from… an asteroid belt. Of course it’s an asteroid belt.”

“Plot a course. Let’s go.”

TheSweet Charityglides into the asteroid field, and almost immediately, a chunk of rock the size of a hovercar bounces off the hull with a dullthunk. I glare at Gas. “Careful, you idiot. I’d like to keep this ship in one piece.”

“It’s harder than it looks, boss. At least I’m avoiding the big ones.”

“Big ones?” I growl, just as a massive asteroid looms into view, its craggy surface blotting out the stars. It’s practically a small planet, its gravity well already tugging at the ship.

“You were saying?” I snap as red alerts flash across the console.

Gas’s hands fly over the controls, and theSweet Charitylurches to the side, narrowly avoiding the asteroid. The ship shudders as it breaks free of the gravity well, and Gas lets out a breath. “See? No problem.”

“No problem? You almost turned us into a smear on that rock.”

“Almost doesn’t count. Besides, we’re here.” Gas points to the transponder signal, now blinking steadily on the screen. TheTriumphant’stransponder is drifting aimlessly in orbit around a smaller asteroid.

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