Page 127 of All I Have Left

And… if I know Grayson, I know what he’s about to do.

59

GRAYSON

Idon’t remember anything that was said that night. No words. All I have are images of events that took place and they all resonate in the bed on this truck. It fuels the rage inside me. Her tears accelerate it and it feels like something inside me is dying. The empty space inside my head is more than I can’t take. Yet my words are lost, and I’m unable to express myself to her.

Gravel crunches underneath my feet as I reach for the gas can and my cane. Unscrewing the cap, I flip it upside down and onto the bed and then toss the cane into the bed of the truck.

I scrape the match on the edge of the box. It sputters to life, a tiny inferno capable of destruction. I stare at it, my hand shaking as I lift my gaze to the bed of the truck, heat working its way to my fingertips. There’s a flash of Evie in my next breath, constrained, screaming with no sound.

With a simple movement of my hand, I drop the match.

The heat of the flames lick my face and it’s the biggest thrill I’ve had in months. For someone that has a lack of interest in anything, this makes me feel good. Finally putting an end to the past.

The flames grow, their wrath and fury a metaphor for my lifenow, filled with rage and inconsistency. It sparks, pops, sends showers of orange into the night’s sky. I watch it, strangely focused on the way it looks spreading to the cab of the truck.

There’s a memory in my head, blurry, but it’s there. Evie laid out before me, smiling. It passes quickly, replaced with the one of him raping her.

My jaw works back and forth. “Fucking burn, you piece of shit.”

I bought this truck with my own money when I was fifteen years old. Never would I thought I’d be burning it to the ground seven years later.

I didn’t exactly think it through because the smoke and the flames catch the attention of the sheriff. Naturally, given my luck, he finds me even a mile outside of town.

With my back to him, the red and blue lights flicker against the fire.

At first, he doesn’t say anything. And then he chuckles. “Can’t say I’m surprised by this.”

Tears burn my eyes, my head snapping to his. “Why didn’t you do anything?”

“I have a fire extinguisher in the car,” he notes. “Figured I’d let you have your fun first.”

“That’s not what I’m talking about.”

“What then?”

I stand frozen, immobilized by my own anger. “Evie,” I yell, pain radiating in my head and the sound echoing through the field. “You had to have known he was hurting her. Why didn’t you do anything?”

Our gazes hold in silence. He sighs, shaking his head. His eyes slowly focus on mine, the tension in his stance easing. “It’s something I regret every day and will for the rest of my life.”

I glare at him, the fire flickering in his. “You just let him get away with it.”

“My hands were tied until she reported it, Grayson. I couldn’t do anything because that would have pushed her away further.”

I can’t fault him for not doing something. As much as I want to, this isn’t on him. He did his job, but they couldn’t make her see it. And Shane wasn’t going to let her go. Not until he had her, or me. I’m so fucking thankful it was me.

I try to sound casual despite my racing heart. “What happened the night you found him?”

He slants his head my way, fire dancing on his face. “Kaiden reported it. Said you two were attacked on Dean Church Rd. It was out of our jurisdiction so I called it in and three other officers and I headed out to Shane’s place and found him there with Lance, Travis, and Baron.” He’s quiet for a moment before lowering his voice. “Your bat was in the trunk of his Mustang.”

Calm down. Calm down.

My hands tremble. Hell, I think my heart catches in my chest, the beat gone. I try to understand why Shane would do something like this. Not to me, but to Evie. Dryness seizes my lungs, like breathing in sand. I swallow and attempt to control my reactions. Nothing works. My heart races, my breathing coming faster and faster. “He admitted to it?”

“At first, no, but when we found the bat, he had no choice.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

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