Page 153 of All I Have Left

I check my pocket again. “Yep.”

“Okay.” He pats his hands to my chest. “Don’t be nervous. She’ll say yes.”

It took me a long time to think about what song to play before I asked her. If I was a songwriter, I probably would have written something, but I’m not, so I chose something I could play on the piano for her while Ethan plays the guitar.

I chose a song she loves, “Hallelujah” by Jeff Buckley.

We play another song, and then I turn to Evie who’s standingnear the stage. “Sit with me,” I say into the microphone, patting the bench.

The crowd of some four hundred people scream. They probably know what I’m doing. Or maybe they have no idea but by the blush to Evie’s cheeks as she sits next to me, I think she knows I’m about to do something.

And then I begin to play the slow ballad. It’s a long song, longer than I initially thought when I started practicing it, but it’s perfect for her.

When the guitar fades, it just me on the piano. I tip my head back and belt out the chorus.

Evie cries what I think are happy tears, resting her head on my shoulder.

When the song ends, there’s a moment of silence before everyone claps, but that one silent moment is one I’ll hold with me forever—Evie staring at me with all the love and adoration I could ever imagine.

And then comes the proposal. I know what I planned to do, hopefully know what she’ll say, but it still doesn’t make it any less nerve-wracking. What do you say to the woman who holds your heart and soul in the palm of their hand?

The “marry me” speech ranks up there with what you say when they tell you they love you, or they’re pregnant. They’ll remember everything said.Everything.

I know this because my mom can repeat word for word what my dad said to her. And though I’m not sure how, considering all the screaming, Frankie remembers every word Ethan said to her. It’s a moment I know I can’t fuck up. So to say there is a lot riding on my proposal is a fucking understatement.

I stand, as does Evie, and I walk over to the microphone where we’re going to do a duet. I hesitate once we’re standing there, only to have Ethan shout from behind, “Do it!”

By the look on Evie’s face right now, he just gave it away. She smiles.

Shit. No holding back now.

I wrap my arms around her shoulders from behind and press my chest into her back, holding the microphone to my lips near her ear. “They’re gonna hear what I have to say…” I raise an eyebrow to the screaming crowd. “You okay with that?”

Evie isn’t one for public attention, but she’s giggling so much she can barely keep herself contained.

I start swaying to the beat Ethan begins on his acoustic guitar beside me, a continuation of “Hallelujah.” Evie follows my lead, swaying with me.

Reaching around in front of her, I clasp her hand in mine, twisting around to face her, and slowly drop down on one knee, the crowd screaming in response. I dig around in my pocket. “Uh, one second. I can’t find the ring,” I tease.

Ethan laughs into the microphone, continuing with the slow beat behind us. “Dude!”

Everyone laughs, but it’s Evie, in front of me who gasps loudly and puts her other hand over her mouth. “Oh my—”

“You knew this was coming.” I shake my head, presenting the ring to her. “Just… let me do this, please.”

Tears roll down her cheeks and I see the girl who sat beside my bed for forty-two days straight. “You don’t have to.”

“I want to,” I say, giving her a wink. “Today needs a better meaning than a day we want to forget.”

There’s a lot of awws coming from the crowd, but it’s Evie’s face I’m focused on. We went the whole day, the morning, therapy, dinner, all of it without acknowledging what this day really meant to us. A year ago, it was the end in many ways. I died that day. For a moment. And now, today, we’re getting another chance at forever.

Holding the ring in my left hand, the mic in the other, I turn to the crowd and chuckle. “Now what should I say?”

They laugh, Josh says something inappropriate to the left of the stage, as does Ethan, but Evie reaches for her own microphone next to her. “The Grayson Gomez I know…” She lets out a slow whistle, winking. “Healwaysknows what to say.”

“Well.” I let out a breathy laugh, drawing it out longer than it needs to be. “You got me there. I have one question really. No speech.”

“Yeah?” She quirks an eyebrow at me, shifting her weight to the right with her hand on her hip.

---