Page 156 of All I Have Left

“So…,” Leigha begins. “We had given him some sedatives because, well, he’s Grayson and you know how it goes. The moment we took him out of the room for testing he’d freak out on us, so we sedated him.”

“She’s lying!” Grayson yells from the couch and then rolls off it, onto the floor and covers his face with a pillow.

“Anyway, we get the scan done and he’s waking up. We’re on the way back to the room, in the elevator with like, four other nurses who were assisting me because again,Grayson.” I nod, understanding exactly what she means. “And just about the time the door is going to open, Grayson lifts the blanket up and checks out his…” Leigha motions between her legs, laughing hysterically to the point I think she’s going to pee herself.

Grayson lifts his head up and then the pillow. “It’s notthatfunny.”

“Yes, it is,” Leigha says, barely able to get the words out. “So he lifts the blanket up, flashes all the nurses and says, “Good news, looks like the rocket ship still works.” And then puts the blanket down and calmly went back to sleep.”

Both Frankie and I start laughing, but it’s Julia who makes the story better by adding, “When Grayson was thirteen—”

“Okay!” Grayson practically jumps off the floor and runs overto his mom and tries to maul her to stop her from talking. “No fucking way. Keep your mouth shut!”

Laughing, Julia pries his hand off her mouth and for the first time in months, his cheeks blush. “I tried to have the sex talk with him because these two were together constantly and I thought I needed to.”

Grayson groans and drops his arms from his mom, stomping away. “I’ll be outside.”

I’m fully enthralled now and lean into the counter in front of me. “I need to hear this story.”

“My room was next to his.” Frankie shakes her head, Wesley in her arms now and follows Grayson outside. “I definitely don’t need to hear this. I lived it.”

Julia watches Grayson standing in the backyard looking pretty annoyed. “He’ll get over it. Anyway, I thought I needed to talk to him about sex so I told him that his penis was his rocket ship and he should only invite people he trusts to ride on it. I thought I was being the cool mom, but he just looked at me, completely blank-faced and said, ‘It goes off by itself so I don’t think I need passengers.’”

Best wedding gift ever.

After nearly peeing my pants over that story, I sneak off to Frankie’s room so she can do my makeup. It’s modest, like my white wedding gown that’s a simple flowy summer dress with lace accents and a pink ribbon. And I’m barefoot, so even better. Everything about the day is minimalist, the way Grayson and I want it.

Just before sunset,on August twenty-second, in the backyard of the Gomez residence, I make my way down to the pergola toward my future husband. With purples, pinks, and oranges inthe backdrop, Grayson watches me make my way toward him, Ethan beside me.

Sighing, I look up at Ethan. “Thank you for doing this.”

His voice shakes when he whispers, “It’s an honor.”

For a boy I’ve never seen cry in my life, it’s hard to see Ethan struggling with his composure. His eyes snap to mine and he wipes the back of his hand across his face in one quick motion. “You tell anyone you made me cry, I’ll toss your goddamn ass in the pool later.”

I start laughing, and then trip down the aisle and fall flat on my face.

Yep, wedding from hell. Who falls at their own wedding?

Me!

After composing myself, I shift my gaze to Grayson. He’s smiling, and it’s hard not to burst into a sob at the sight of him. Tall and so incredibly handsome with his hair falling into his eyes, his beautiful browns reflect all the love he’s had for me since I was a knobby-kneed little girl begging him to give me a piece of his bubble gum.

Just as I’m composing myself to make the final steps toward Grayson, the sky opens up and it begins to rain. Fat drops that soak the two of us. I laugh, and Grayson shakes his head, water falling from his nose. “Is this a bad sign?”

Grayson’s smile curves his lips, his eyes intent on mine. “Never,” he whispers. “It’s good luck to have rain on your wedding day.”

Laughter erupts from our family as they scramble under the tents. Everything passes in a blur of love, but I do remember when he slips the ring on my finger. A dozen memories flit through my mind as I watch him say the words “I do.”

Emotion swirls inside me as he angles his head down so we’re eye to eye. “I love you more than anything else in the fucking world,” he whispers so the pastor can’t hear, because, yeah, inappropriate. But I smile, regardless, because that phrase has come three times in our life.

The day I lost him.

The night he came home from the hospital.

And now, the day we are finally husband and wife.

Grayson presses his lips to my forehead, and I can feel the smirk forming, water drops on his nose falling to mine. If you were to see us from a distance, you’d think aww, look at them standing there by the pool, rain falling on them and twinkle lights flickering above. You’d probably even think he’s whispering that he loves me or something equally as sweet.

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