Page 165 of All I Have Left

“Don’t tell her,” she yells, because three-year-olds have no volume control.

“I can’t keep secrets from your mom.”

“That’s a lie,” my dad adds, the keys to the excavator in his hand.

I side-eye him.

We’re building a mother-in-law house for Kathy on the back part of our property that joins ours with Ethan and Frankie’s. Though I’m not sure she wants to leave her house, she spends enough time over here with her grandkids that it makes sense.

Taliyah giggles, the sound music to my ears when she spots Wesley, Riley and Willow running toward her in the field. I neverknew what it would be like to love someone so much you can’t breathe, until I became a dad.

“She reminds me so much of Evie,” my dad says, watching Taliyah run toward the house with her cousins.

With waterfall blonde curls falling into her face, she runs barefoot through the grassy field. “She’s a spitting image of her,” I note, smiling. Truthfully, Taliyah is a perfect mixture of the two of us. Stubborn, strong-willed, hates to be told no, adamant… you get the point. She’s a handful but we love every ounce of crazy she brings to our family.

Dad wraps his arm around my shoulder, walking with me. “You make me proud, boy.”

I swallow over the lump lodged in my throat. For so long I didn’t feel like I could make anyone proud, but now, nearly five years later, it’s starting to feel like life is falling into place.

Standing on the back porch, I smile at the sight before me.

There’s something so goddamn beautiful about watching my wife rocking our newborn daughter, Stevie, in her arms and our holy terror of a two-year-old son, Jameson, at her feet. I focus on this one moment, the sound of our kids’ laughter and a man, who is willing to give all he has left to see her like this, vulnerable, stripped bare of everything else and in love.

Our life is just beginning, wrapped around little heartbeats with bright green eyes and blonde hair. I can’t ask for a better second chance at forever.

Inside the house, I snake my arms around Evie. “Has it been six weeks yet?”

“It’s only been three. Nice try though.” She snorts and hands Stevie to me.

Jameson cries at our feet until Evie picks him up. He lays his head on her shoulder as she rubs his back. Jameson Matthew, he’s a mama’s boy. Hates me, but loves his mama. I can see why. But he’s got some competition for sure and I think that’s why he dislikes me so much. If I kiss her, he practically tries to punch me in the face.

I pinch his bare toes and wink at him. “You’re gonna like me some day, little man.”

He shakes his head. “No.” No is his only word. Actually, it’sNoandMama. NoDad. It’s depressing, but my baby girls love me.

I stare at our newest addition in my arms. Our little redheaded baby girl who only sleeps in my arms at night. I have no idea where the red hair came from, but I love it. It makes her unique and perfect in every way. I’d like to point out that Taliyah’s first word was Daddy.

Taliyah comes running inside. “Daddy let me jump off the tractor!” Her eyes light up when the doorbell rings. “Gabe’s here!”

“Grayson? You let her jump off that?”

“Didn’t let her. She just did it. And be thankful I caught her because she was committed by the time I turned around.”

“Sounds familiar,” she says, and I think about those words. They have more meaning than you’ll ever understand. Or maybe you do.

“Who’s Gabe?” I ask, rocking Stevie.

“The boy up the street on the Kennedy farm.”

My eyes widen. “You mean that little boy who shot our mailbox with a paintball gun last week?”

Evie nods, her grin contagious. “That little boy.”

My heart beats faster in my chest thinking about my first born daughter and the neighbor boy. I flash back to Evie and me and think about all the shit we did when my parents weren’t around. Or were in our case. You’d be amazed what you can get away with when they’re not looking.

I glare at my wife because she’s smiling at me. “Oh, no fucking way. She’s not playing with him. How old is he anyway?”

“I think he’s six.”

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