Page 33 of All I Have Left

I fight off the urge to vomit a few times but the most demeaning part about it is when he comes, he does it on my face and then smears it on my cheeks. His laughter rolls through the car but stops when he notices Sheriff Hicks pull up behind us.

“I fucking hate you!” I gag, my sobbing reaching a high of hysteria. I take my shirt and wipe my cheek. I can barely get the words out when I shove him away from me. “You fucking asshole!” I cry, kick at him and his car, anything to get away from him. “I hate you! I hate you so much!”

“I don’t give a shit if you hate me.” He yanks up his pants and buttons them frantically. I can’t look at him. “Go see that son of a bitch now. Show him who you fucking belong to, whoownsyou.”

His hand brushes over my cheek and I knock it away, his eyes on the rearview mirror.

“Don’t fucking touch me!” I growl.

Shane laughs, bitter and as cold as his heart and haunts me like a bad dream. Rolling his head to the side, he glances out the window to where Hicks is standing.

Hicks’s eyes move from Shane, to mine. He notices my crying. “Everything okay, Evie?”

I can’t answer him. The tears won’t stop enough.

“She’s fine,” Shane snaps.

Hicks snaps his stare to Shane and leans in. “You can’t park here, Larson.” His words are curt and to the point.

“We were just leaving.”

I draw in a breath, trying to calm myself down. Hicks watches me carefully. “Evie, would you like me to give you a ride?”

“Like I said, Hicks.” Shane glares at him. “She’s fine.”

Straightening his posture, Hicks tucks his hands on his hips, his gun visible. He looks at me and we exchange a knowing look. “You know how to get a hold of me if you need to, honey.” And then he leans in and levels Shane a warning. “If I find out her crying is anything more than a simple misunderstanding of words between you two, I will personally see to it that you never see daylight again.”

“Noted,” Shane mumbles, his jaw working back and forth.

When the sheriff backs away, Shane stares at me, the side of his face lit up by the lights of the cop car backing out. He searches my eyes, and I can see remorse working through him. “You made me do that. You did.”

I cry into my palms, filling the car with a sadness he will never understand. I want to inflict pain on him and hurt him like he’s done to me, but that’s not like me.

17

GRAYSON

The afternoon sun reflects off the pool dancing against my sunglasses, the smells of fresh-cut grass overpowering the chlorinated air.

Tipping my head back, I look up at the cloudless summer sky. How can I make her see that she doesn’t love him? Or is it even my place to show her? Fuck yes, it’s my place, damn it. She needs to know.

She’s fooling herself if she thinks she’s in love with that guy. And then I can’t help but think if I never left, she wouldn’t feel the need to find comfort in this asshole.

Frankie keeps telling me that everything is going to work out and it will be all right, but everything isn’t okay. Everything is wrong, very wrong. Grief swells up inside me with every breath. I can feel my body being ripped apart, more than it already was. There’s hardly any pieces left of me. I thought… well, I thought she’d be the one to fix it. She’s my world. The reason I fought it so hard to get out of there. It’s always about her. Everything I did was to protect her and keep her safe, no matter the price I had to pay.

And now what? She’s pushing me away.

I hear a door open and close, the slap of bare feetagainst the patio and then a splash of water. I don’t have to look up to know it’s Frankie. She’s the only one who swims in this pool before July.

I try to pretend I’m sleeping so she won’t bother me, but after a minute of asking me questions and me not responding, she splashes me with water. “I’m talking to you, asshole.”

“And I’m trying to ignore you. Let me do that in peace.”

“Grayson—” Frankie sighs, resting her chin on the edge of the pool deck. I raise an eyebrow and she shakes her head. “You can’t blame yourself for her stupidity on this one, buddy.”

I shoot her a glare. I don’t like anyone criticizing Evie, even if it is the truth.

“Don’t look at me like that. You know it’s the truth.” Wading to the steps, she reaches for her towel, wrapping it around her body. “I’m sorry that she’s with him, I really am. If I could convince her otherwise, I would have done so already, but she won’t listen to me. She’s hiding something about him. I have a feeling it’s pretty bad from what Ethan says, but she won’t say, and Ethan is protecting his sister.”

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